stability

the corridor does seem less stable and narrower

not 

bad enough.... yet... to stop my regular night trips to the toilet.

last night I fall over leaving the toilet. miss my grip on the trolley 

I 'm more careful later, no trouble.

.. Dr Nick Lethbridge ... dexitroboper
Agamedes Consulting... Churchlands WA


... you provide data and facts ... I return solutions, and possibilities and ADVICE


6 Thornbill Way / 0419197772
   

casual with cancer

I try to not panic over having 

terminal cancer helps that I forget about it.

or at least, cancer is not central to my life. so it does not affect me strongly.

this morning I work my way through key stages: 

fun run, collapse

surgery, etc... yes, memories are all there but I ignore them. sometimes deliberately.

I do not always belelieve I have cancer. so easy to say I'm coping..

today 22jul25:

tired, rest / sleep all day

vision blurred. as expected by tumour growing back. roughly   wehere it was but now twice as large

this tumour causes problems just by existence, it pushes the brain around.

other tumour is killing me by spreading through brain stem. this will kill me by failing to,keep heart ands lungs working.

one of these is also allecting thinking In general 

my brain, intellect is having difficulty.

.. Dr Nick Lethbridge ... dexitroboper
Agamedes Consulting... Churchlands WA


... you provide data and facts ... I return solutions, and possibilities and ADVICE


6 Thornbill Way / 0419197772
   

reading writing

my new tumour is twice as large as the original but in just about the game location. so my vision is different and  warped and the keyboard is hard to track. oh... and my brain wanders

if you want an answer by email... make it up

it will be as good as I could do :-)

otherwise, I'm feeling fine. cheerful, with still no pain

.. Dr Nick Lethbridge ... dexitroboper
Agamedes Consulting... Churchlands WA


... you provide data and facts ... I return solutions, and possibilities and ADVICE


6 Thornbill Way / 0419197772
   

this morning I wake up from a nightmare.

the nightmare is that i qm waking from a nightmare,

the deeper nightmare has everyone, me too, dying a messy death from cancer.

I decide that I am finally awake and ask  deb, are we all dying from cancer?

on course we are. don't you remember, you have had terminal cancer for seven years.

it'll be months yet before you die.

this is deb so I am reassured. 

I go back to peaceful sleep for  hours.

ps I am still alive...

nb I am still well aware that I have terminal cancer :-)

.. Dr Nick Lethbridge ... dexitroboper
Agamedes Consulting... Churchlands WA


... you provide data and facts ... I return solutions, and possibilities and ADVICE


6 Thornbill Way / 0419197772
   

wake up and my lungs are reluctant to breathe deep.

lungs are a risk area at this stage of tumour activity.

I force deep breaths, keep warm, take Ventolin, all good gain.

So I'm breathing well but

... once again -- very tired.

I sleep most of the day otherwise... fine :-)

.. Dr Nick Lethbridge ... dexitroboper
Agamedes Consulting... Churchlands WA


... you provide data and facts ... I return solutions, and possibilities and ADVICE


6 Thornbill Way / 0419197772
   

good mood

I wake up feeling more cheerful than I have for weeks.

I must have had a local bug... on top of what normally annoys me.

whatever it was, it cleared overnight.

I even end the night with cheerful dreams. one that I remember is, sort of, good advice.

I always spend some effort "coping" with possible death. and I sneer at people who try wacky cures for the incurable.

advice to self: be willing to be open to testing wacky cures. they may not, yet, be accepted by med sci but

...I may get lucky :-)

I'm not a person to go too wacky -- but I will not sneer at the efforts of others. good luck to them.

anyway... I wake up still happy... that's  something to be glad about :-)

.. Dr Nick Lethbridge ... dexitroboper
Agamedes Consulting... Churchlands WA


... you provide data and facts ... I return solutions, and possibilities and ADVICE


6 Thornbill Way / 0419197772
   

awake and alive

deb is out all morning minding grandchildren.

mid morning I wake up...and surprise myself by how pleased I am to be still alive!

and, many hours later -- still alive with *no* feeling of imminent death, phew!

very late dinner... couldn't gather enthusiasm for the six pills which are part of every second meal

if there is no post it usually means -- nothing interesting has happened... so no post is good news 

I suppose it's  funny... the worse the situation, the easier it is to write about it.

all part of posting to get it off my mind

.. Dr Nick Lethbridge ... dexitroboper
Agamedes Consulting... Churchlands WA


... you provide data and facts ... I return solutions, and possibilities and ADVICE


6 Thornbill Way / 0419197772