It's quite easy to write about physical symptoms. Especially since mine are quite minor. And most can be blamed on age and sloth :-)
Waiting for the last scan results I am... positive. So positive that I tell myself to stop thinking. I prefer to have no expectations, neither good nor bad.
Less easy, a bit embarrassing, to admit to depression. I have times when I am just miserable. Nothing to do with cancer, either. Cancer is icing on the cake.
How difficult is it to write about depression? It's taken me 2 or 3 weeks just to start. And I only start now that I feel I am in control again.
Yet for the last month I have days on end when I am just miserable. Depressed. Sometimes I snap at Deb and that makes me feel even worse. I am trying to even out my mood. To at least stop worrying Deb.
And now...
Last night I dream. I pull out a dagger and wave it round in a threatening manner. The dagger is inspired by a book I'm reading. The dream adds a clear message...
I have times of miserable thoughts that won't go away. So I do as the dream suggests -- I imagine I'm holding a dagger, wave the dagger at the depressing thoughts... and scare them away.
It works! The depression is still there but in the background. I am able to enjoy the here and now.
I may have to write a book, "Solving problems with ideas from dreams". I'm amazed that it works. I'm even more amazed that the idea comes in a dream.
Dr Nick Lethbridge / Consulting Dexitroboper
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Whoever said "fighting never solves anything" obviously never won a fight
Depression is a terrible affliction. Glad you can manage it.
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