uh oh :-(

Finally... significant change on my brain scan.

It's a cliche: the doc asks, do you have any travel plans?

The latest MRI scan shows a shadow -- which the experts believe may be a new tumour. About 3cm across (same size as the original).

The scans show (a) shadow of not-brain (tumour or necrosis) and (b) if the shadow is creating blood flow. Blood flow indicates active growth, ie probable tumour.

There's no way to be sure -- without opening the skull to have a look.

But first: I'll get another scan in just one month. If the shadow has grown then... uh oh indeed.

So it's definitely *not* good news. But -- for another month -- back to wait and see.

While waiting -- I watch my health. In particular, fading vision would be bad. Or, I guess, falling over would be bad.

I tell Deb to not worry. I think she's ignoring me.

Dr Nick Lethbridge / Consulting Dexitroboper

===

Bandaid solutions hurt when they are removed.

...Dying for you to Read my blog: notdotdeaddotyet.blogspot.com

to be clear

I've had yet another mri of my brain. now i wait a week to get the results.

don't think that there is no worry.

i have continuous low level worry. no more, i guess, than anyone who has passed three score and ten. i worry just as much about deb, who is almost as old. for that matter, i even worry about the kids and grandkids, that's a part of being a parent.

i have occasional flashes of sharper worry.  mostly in the month or two before a scan. the impending scan reminds me of my cancer. then i remind myself that i am perfectly well -- until a scan says otherwise. after the scan it's, nothing i can do, so no use worrying.

right now my main worry is that Deb is worried. she's less cheerful than she should be. so i try to remain calm. to not act worried, eg i don't swear at the pc, which really should be replaced or fixed.

now that i think about it... the fact that i need to write this "not worried" post really does indicate that i am worried :-) to that i say, bah, humbug.

deb worries that if i go anywhere by myself, I'll get lost. i admit that i get confused in unfamiliar places.

last week, deb and i take the grandkids to a wildlife park. okay, deb takes us all, i just follow along.

we all go together into the darkened nocturnal house. when i get out, i am alone.

deb sends the boy through again, too look for me. and again.

finally, outside, we all find each other. I'm upset, deb is worried.

no wonder deb doesn't trust me to go out alone.

Nick Lethbridge    /    Consulting Dexitroboper
Agamedes Consulting    /   Problems? Solved.
   ===


Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood
   

scanned. now waiting

The scan is done. It'll be a week before we get the results.

As usual, anxiety is about the scan -- the results are, well, fixed now, so no great worry.

What we do discuss is more important: there's a major rogaine in WA in September. Can we get to it? We barely compete -- a control or two, if there are lots of tracks -- but we do enjoy the experience. And we'd enjoy a few days in the SW.

Also, there's a fun run in May. A son will do the 4km with his two young kids. I thought, Grandad could be there, cheer them on, do the 4km even slower than the little kids, get home somehow.

Deb, for some reason won't let me run without her, which would spoil some of the point -- to prove that I can follow 10,000 people without getting lost. Deb worries that I will get lost. The run is still under discussion...

Dr Nick Lethbridge / Consulting Dexitroboper

===

Bandaid solutions hurt when they are removed.

...Dying for you to Read my blog: notdotdeaddotyet.blogspot.com

scan and app

I get the usual text reminder of my next MRI. I phone, say I'll be there, make sure they have all necessary paperwork. All is okay. So, says the girl on the phone -- see you tomorrow.

Tomorrow!. is it that soon? oh. okay. Tomorrow then.

I find it hard to worry about the scan result. It's been a long time. Many scans. Worry comes in occasional flashes rather than just at scan time.

What I feel is almost-fear at the thought of the cannula into my vein. I never like that.

And annoyance at the change to my routine. It'll be a morning wasted. As though I had something else to do :-)

In my efforts to have TourismWA support or develop my app, I've had a fairly definite, No way. Which I shall deliberately misunderstands as, Try another approach. But that can't start for another week. (Oh! another week? so soon! Time flies :-)

Nick Lethbridge    /    Consulting Dexitroboper
Agamedes Consulting    /   Problems? Solved.
   ===


Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood
   

a good call

Waving my white stick gets various responses. For example:

We're out for a run. Following a bike and foot shared trail (in John Forrest).

A group of cyclists passes. One man calls out, Well, we won't ask you for directions...

That was a week ago. I still smile at the memory :-)

Dr Nick Lethbridge / Consulting Dexitroboper

===

Bandaid solutions hurt when they are removed.

...Dying for you to Read my blog: notdotdeaddotyet.blogspot.com

grand children

The last week has involved some grandchild minding -- phew!

Two delightful children but... they are young and active and interested.

It was great fun :-) Now I am exhausted.

Dr Nick Lethbridge / Consulting Dexitroboper

===

Bandaid solutions hurt when they are removed.

...Dying for you to Read my blog: notdotdeaddotyet.blogspot.com

daily good deeds

I'm running round the lake.

Half way round, two people ask me, If we continue this way, will we get out? I think they mean, will they get off the path and back to a road.

Yes, I tell them, it's a circular track, just keep going that way, I point.

Two minutes later I think, If they go that way they will reach a T-junction, they could get lost. After all, I can get lost on this "circular" track.

So I wave down two passing cyclists. Ask them to keep an eye open for two walking women, give them help if they are lost. Good deed done.

Two minutes later I think, was it two women? I spoke to a woman, didn't really look at the other. I can't remember... could have been a woman or a man or a shop dummy... oh dear.

An hour later, two women say hello. Are you the two I met before? I ask. Yes -- and my directions worked -- phew! 

So: Definitely a good deed done.

They are now, visibly, definitely two women.I can only guess that they have removed jackets as the day warmed up... I hope that's it. Otherwise -- my sight(or memory) is even worse than I thought.

Dr Nick Lethbridge / Consulting Dexitroboper

===

Bandaid solutions hurt when they are removed.

...Dying for you to Read my blog: notdotdeaddotyet.blogspot.com