worried

here's how i  feel right now:

if I live another week, I shall be surprised. and pleased.

my cold is now  a snuffly nose and a wheezing chest.

how my cancer should progress:

lungs stopping working... no orders to breath getting through the cancer in the brain stem.

I actually spend quite a long time tonight consciously breathing in and out.

I don't like the cancer doc. deb says, but she kept you alive for seven years.

she certainly did not kill me. despite an aggressive, terminal cancer.

so... thank you :-)

and thank you to anyone who reads this blog. it's written by me, for me but I appreciate that other people are interested

returning from the toilet.  it's dark.

I reach forthe light switch. pause

say aloud

I'm scared

scared of what? not really sure.

but I am scared,

deb wakes up,turns on her bedside light.

I get back into bed, no worries

but I am not sleeping, not even sleepy.

I get back into bed, no wor..ies

....but wi d e awak.e and still scared.

jy lunggs is are asthmatic -- not getting a full breath of air.

http://notdotdeaddotyet.blogspot.com
dying for you to read it :-)
...ranting  http://my3rs.blogspot.com

brain fading, typing blind
if this email is nonsense, pls guess or ask
ndependent Consulting dexitroboper