Perhaps I have actually reached the possibly-mythical state of "acceptance" of impending death !??
Last night, at about this same time, I woke up and thought, I'm feeling cheerful :-)
Not, wake up, ask how I feel, answer, cheerful. The waking dream itself proclaims that I am cheerful.
The only remembered feature of that dream is a small yellow/silver moon floating behind. My subconscious puts that image forward when I am thinking of the "quietly-slowing-down death that I am expecting.
I suspect that my good cheer is due to having discussed preferred speed-of-death with Deb. I'm in favour of this dragged out over years approach, Deb would prefer sudden. We have different preferences. It's just the open discussion which cheers... but only because we can have such an open discussion.
Tonight... I wake from another meaningless dream... again to a feeling of comfort and cheer.
In this dream I am in a shop weighing potatoes for sale.
Potatoes? No idea... unless I am hungry. Okay, I recently read an article which recommended eating mashed potatoes to possibly avoid IBS... which does not affect me anyway.
Whatever the sense / nonsense: I wake up feeling very comfortable and satisfied with life.
Well, it's cheerful, anyway :-)
Is this acceptance?
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btw:
The happy pills are supposed to lift my mood out of depression. I think they fail
... but I believe that I have lifted *myself* out of depression. I may think and post on that thought
... but not today. For now -- still feeling cheerful -- it's back to bed :-)
Perchance to dream. Again.
...
Dr Nick Lethbridge... Churchlands
Agamedes Consulting ... dexitroboper(*):
(*) you provide facts and data
I return solutions and possibilities and ADVICE
================
6 Thornbill Way / 0419197772
It's excellent that you can have such discussions as terribly sad as they are.
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