reading writing

my new tumour is twice as large as the original but in just about the game location. so my vision is different and  warped and the keyboard is hard to track. oh... and my brain wanders

if you want an answer by email... make it up

it will be as good as I could do :-)

otherwise, I'm feeling fine. cheerful, with still no pain

.. Dr Nick Lethbridge ... dexitroboper
Agamedes Consulting... Churchlands WA


... you provide data and facts ... I return solutions, and possibilities and ADVICE


6 Thornbill Way / 0419197772
   

this morning I wake up from a nightmare.

the nightmare is that i qm waking from a nightmare,

the deeper nightmare has everyone, me too, dying a messy death from cancer.

I decide that I am finally awake and ask  deb, are we all dying from cancer?

on course we are. don't you remember, you have had terminal cancer for seven years.

it'll be months yet before you die.

this is deb so I am reassured. 

I go back to peaceful sleep for  hours.

ps I am still alive...

nb I am still well aware that I have terminal cancer :-)

.. Dr Nick Lethbridge ... dexitroboper
Agamedes Consulting... Churchlands WA


... you provide data and facts ... I return solutions, and possibilities and ADVICE


6 Thornbill Way / 0419197772
   

wake up and my lungs are reluctant to breathe deep.

lungs are a risk area at this stage of tumour activity.

I force deep breaths, keep warm, take Ventolin, all good gain.

So I'm breathing well but

... once again -- very tired.

I sleep most of the day otherwise... fine :-)

.. Dr Nick Lethbridge ... dexitroboper
Agamedes Consulting... Churchlands WA


... you provide data and facts ... I return solutions, and possibilities and ADVICE


6 Thornbill Way / 0419197772
   

good mood

I wake up feeling more cheerful than I have for weeks.

I must have had a local bug... on top of what normally annoys me.

whatever it was, it cleared overnight.

I even end the night with cheerful dreams. one that I remember is, sort of, good advice.

I always spend some effort "coping" with possible death. and I sneer at people who try wacky cures for the incurable.

advice to self: be willing to be open to testing wacky cures. they may not, yet, be accepted by med sci but

...I may get lucky :-)

I'm not a person to go too wacky -- but I will not sneer at the efforts of others. good luck to them.

anyway... I wake up still happy... that's  something to be glad about :-)

.. Dr Nick Lethbridge ... dexitroboper
Agamedes Consulting... Churchlands WA


... you provide data and facts ... I return solutions, and possibilities and ADVICE


6 Thornbill Way / 0419197772
   

awake and alive

deb is out all morning minding grandchildren.

mid morning I wake up...and surprise myself by how pleased I am to be still alive!

and, many hours later -- still alive with *no* feeling of imminent death, phew!

very late dinner... couldn't gather enthusiasm for the six pills which are part of every second meal

if there is no post it usually means -- nothing interesting has happened... so no post is good news 

I suppose it's  funny... the worse the situation, the easier it is to write about it.

all part of posting to get it off my mind

.. Dr Nick Lethbridge ... dexitroboper
Agamedes Consulting... Churchlands WA


... you provide data and facts ... I return solutions, and possibilities and ADVICE


6 Thornbill Way / 0419197772
   

so tired

it seems to be several weeks that I have been too tired to be bothered doing anything.

I just sit and snooze and sleep. occasionally walking from here to there. usually from bed to toilet though occasionally to and from a Cafe with Deb.

I'm not sure about the domestic pigs that I'm sometimes riding, not sure where they hide in our house, they may be a dream addition.

once or twice I've woken up feeling so tired, and bad, that I wonder if if this is it, I'm finally dying, oh well.

deb tells me that death is usually preceded by difficulty ralking and eating.

yesterday we visit friends in the hills. deb says I was awake and  talkin. nobody claimed I'm not eating so

no warning signs there

so... so far so good :-)

.. Dr Nick Lethbridge ... dexitroboper
Agamedes Consulting... Churchlands WA


... you provide data and facts ... I return solutions, and possibilities and ADVICE


6 Thornbill Way / 0419197772