Thursday, June 20, 2019

still good

somewhere in the middle of my latest chemo, my hair fell out. no more hair to brush, all i have on my scalp is a sparse collection of very fine and short hair. hair on my arms looks to be less, though still enough to hurt when i pull off a sticky bandage.

further afield -- too far for me to notice -- my legs have the smooth, hairless, swimmers' look. pity i'm not a swimmer. and when i think to look -- i find that my pubic hair is now quite fine and sparse and pale.

my first surprise -- which should have been no surprise at all -- is that i don't need to shave. my face is a smooth as, well, as something very smooth. many weeks with no need to shave.

until i happen to glance in a mirror while wearing my glasses... oh dear, that looks untidy... odd areas of hair scattered round my face. too fine to feel, too fine to notice without my glasses, enough to look... messy. no way it could pass for a fashionable stubble.

so, i'm shaving again. once a week :-) i need to look in a mirror, wearing reading glasses, not just depend on feeling smooth. speaking of which: it feels as though there may be some returning bristles. perhaps my hair is planning to grow again?
===

it's been several weeks since chemo finished -- and i'm feeling better every day. it's hard to believe how much the treatment knocks me around -- until the treatment ends. i'm still tired -- in part because i'm so unfit -- but less tired than i was. other than that -- and feeling as though i'm getting a cold -- i'm fine.
===

last weekend deb and i -- and deb's sister -- go on a rogaine. it's a 24 hour rogaine, we stay for less than six hours. yes, it is planned that way :-)

we walk a bit over 17km, that's enough for me. i'm tired, i could have walked further but what we walk is far enough. i'm carrying a light pack (lunch, raincoats, water, not much else). i had worried about that but, no worries, it's comfortable, i barely notice the weight.

the sun is setting as we enjoy a rogaine meal, then we drive home. it's been a very pleasant day.
===

over the next few days it's mostly non-physical activities. (even on wednesday -- when i should have gone for a walk -- i don't.) books to read, games to play, letters to write, holiday to plan...

yes, holiday to plan. and organise.

in january i bought tickets for the edinburgh tattoo, in edinburgh. with the intention of getting to the tattoo iff (that iff means, if and only if) my june scans are clear. and they are :-) so...

there's still a bit of ummming and ahhhing. do we really want to go to scotland? can i face up to travel, touristing, scottish "summer"? eventually, yes! so i book.

it's not easy! we prefer to travel at just-off-peak times, to avoid crowds. the tattoo tickets have limited the possible range of dates. we will travel at peak tourist time... accommodation availability and prices reflect this. oh well.

i shuffle dates, change locations, book places that look okay. i long ago abandoned the idea of an inn-to-inn walk of the west highland way... i'm too unfit to commit to a week of quite tough walking. so we'll stay in the same area and walk or drive, whatever feels good on the day.

our credit cards give us free travel insurance. when i enter my details the screen starts flashing red and sirens start sounding... well, something like that. i think the bad response is due to one of my answers, to the question, do you suffer from a terminal illness... oh well, we didn't really expect to get medical travel insurance :-)

doesn't matter. neither of my cancers is currently active, we don't expect any symptoms before the next scans. any other medical problems, we'll depend on the british nhs.

dates are fixed, last thing to book is air travel. back to that dependence on the british nhs... i book the direct perth to london flights. if anything does go wrong -- i want to avoid having to abandon the flights anywhere but in the uk.

but what could go wrong?!  i've not been on a plane since my skull was opened up... i have this vague worry that flying high could cause my brain to explode... or something. an irrational worry, but i'm a professional worrier :-)
===

and in other non-cancer activities: i'm contacting a government agency with a grand scheme. i still have no idea where to find a low-price developer for a phone app. i'll be trying to publish a book, not my own. various schemes which show either: the mind is still active, or, the mind has completely lost touch with reality.

meanwhile, the kids seem to have realised that i'm not about to die immediately. no need to avoid plans which may be interrupted by dad suddenly dropping dead. (and if i do drop dead suddenly, well, that'll be the time to adjust plans.)

as for me, i'm embarrassed... after announcing my imminent death, i still turn up at rogaines, orienteering, family dinners. i'm embarrassed -- but very pleased :-)

so far, so good.







====    Dr Nick Lethbridge  /  Consulting Dexitroboper
Agamedes Consulting / Problems? Solved.
===

"Be excellent to each other" … Bill & Ted
===

dying for you to read my blog: notdotdeaddotyet.blogspot.com.au :-)
====
   

Tuesday, June 11, 2019

not even worried

Deb and I are in the doc's office. The cancer doc. How are you? she asks. You tell me, I reply. Always the same start to a meeting :-)

In summary: All clear.

Scan one shows that the testicular cancer -- having spread to lymph nodes then been treated by chemo -- has "resolution". Or some such meaningless word. That cancer is no longer visible, chemo was effective.

Scan two shows no sign of new cancer in the brain. All good news, another three months to enjoy :-) Though the doc lines me up for both scans after another three months. Head scan because it could come back, body scan to make sure that there really has been "resolution".

What about, we ask, The sensitivity in my toes and fingertips? It should fade, says the doc, But it will take months. Good news and bad.
===

Deb & I shout ourselves a celebratory cup of coffee... and solid sugar caramel slice. Deb heaves a sigh of relief. I admit that I'm glad to have another clear scan.

Now to arrange our next holiday :-)



Dr Nick Lethbridge / Consulting Dexitroboper
...        Agamedes Consulting / Problems ? Solved
===

"Why be difficult? Be impossible." … Ginger Meggs

===


Dying for you to read my blog, at https://notdotdeaddotyet.blogspot.com.au/ :-)



Monday, June 10, 2019

still no stress

An incident last week reset my perspective. I realise that my own problems are relatively... not minor... but relatively unimportant. To me, anyway. As a result -- I stop stressing about scan results. Still a bit worried but no stress.

Today, Monday: still no stress :-)
===

Saturday: it's my birthday... almost. Saturday night is card night. We play every few months, the same group for forty years. (Well, perhaps 35 for me, I joined a bit late.) It's good to catch up.

I throw out quite a few short snappy jokes, to fit between hands of cards. Heh, I had prepared by skimming a joke book earlier in the day :-) Just after midnight I say, It's my birthday. There are friendly calls of, Happy Birthday! Then we get back to playing cards. An enjoyable evening.
===

Sunday morning: Deb says, It's my birthday, what do I want to do? It's cold, wet, miserable outside. We relax around the house. Till dinner time.

The kids are here for dinner. It's my birthday so I get presents -- and give presents. (Old hobbit habit :-) I don't often wrap presents that I give. This year I do -- so that our grandson can help everyone with unwrapping :-) It's a noisy, exciting, fun evening.
===

Monday morning: I do some grocery shopping. Now I'm putting together a helicopter, from a model kit, one of my presents. The kit is sort of a Meccano/Lego cross. For "6+ years"... I think I can handle it.

There's a lot of pushing pieces together. Which constantly reminds me: my finger-tips are very sensitive, a chemo side-effect. Since that's the most annoying side-effect -- I'm getting off very lightly.
===

Almost time to eat lunch. Then join Deb (who is now at work) to see the cancer doc. To find out the results of last week's scans.

A bit worried. Still no stress :-)



Dr Nick Lethbridge / Consulting Dexitroboper
...        Agamedes Consulting / Problems ? Solved
===

"Why be difficult? Be impossible." … Ginger Meggs

===


Dying for you to read my blog, at https://notdotdeaddotyet.blogspot.com.au/ :-)



Sunday, June 2, 2019

prepare for scans

a week till my next scans, two weeks till i get the results. time to stress!
===

meanwhile, late notes on past happenings...

a few weeks back, deb & i are at a rogaine. none of this camping in a tent for us, we stay overnight in a rather nice cottage. a week later -- i realise that i have lost my house key. no worries... except that my wedding ring is attached to the same key ring :-( i'd taken the ring off as i was bloating during chemo -- take the ring off while i still can! and now the ring is lost...

several weeks later i pick up the shorts that i wore on the rogaine -- and the key falls out. with my wedding ring :-) oh well. i blame that temporary "loss" on old age...

now the ring is back on my finger. never to be removed again :-)
===

for a week i have "an aching tooth", it hurts to eat. turns out that i have a permanently cramping jaw muscle... so i rub the muscle, stretch my jaw, and the ache fades. a week later, no ache at all.

i'm fairly certain that the cramp is a result of clenching and grinding my teeth while i sleep. i do wake up feeling that my teeth have been clenched, hard. so now, when i wake at night, i often spend a bit of time rubbing and stretching my jaw muscle. it seems to work, that muscle is fine...

the muscle on the other side of my jaw is now aching! so i now rub and stretch both sides of my jaw. which leads back to my first paragraph: time to stress!
===

another sure sign of stress: i get cross. mostly at inanimate objects. i do a lot of swearing at "things".

i explain to deb that it's stress causing me to be cross, to be swearing a lot. i apologise. deb suggests that she does not notice any difference...
===

so what do we do to reduce stress?

we drive out of the city, out amongst farms. oohing and aaahing at a few early lambs :-) it's always pleasant to be out in the country. and we go orienteering. two days, two events. orienteering is always (almost always) good fun.

i walk round the shortest "hard" (navigation) course. i walk about 3km, no worries. except that on even the slightest uphill, i puff and pant and slow down. so unfit!

i've finished the recent chemo. no excuses. time to get back into training, for the cradle mountain run! it's a loooong term plan :-)






====    Dr Nick Lethbridge  /  Consulting Dexitroboper
Agamedes Consulting / Problems? Solved.
===

"Be excellent to each other" … Bill & Ted
===

dying for you to read my blog: notdotdeaddotyet.blogspot.com.au :-)
====