Coping. Or, coping?

The paper has an article, Good Mood Food. Something like that, I don't read the article and I'm not going back to check the title. But I do say to Deb, I need some good mood food. Deb replies, You're always in a good mood.

Either she's being polite or she's half right. I can't claim to be always in a good mood but I do like to be in a good mood when dealing with other people. Especially Deb.

A friend says, You're coping well. Perhaps I am. But not as well as I'd like. Too many emotional ups and downs, most noticeable when I'm waiting on scan results. My aim is to be cheerfully moderate... so that I will not be shattered when it's a bad scan result.

Mind you, I have the same emotional variation from coding my phone app... The excitement when something works, the despair when it just... stops. The good results cheer me up, the bad results give me practice in managing my rage :-)

Of course life is not all extremes of high and low...

I numb my mind with the unthinking enjoyment of World of Warcraft. I read a couple of books a week, a distraction. I think deep philosophical thoughts (well, I think thoughts) while running. Speaking of which: trail runs are back again. Today Deb runs a sensible distance and avoids the rain. I run twice as far, am three times as exhausted and run (slog) through the heavy rain. Great fun and very satisfying :-)

My plan to run Cradle Mountain is as far distant as ever. Getting my app to a useful state is slightly more likely. Learning to cope with pre-scan stress is ongoing. And the longer it's going on -- the better :-)
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Oh, I do like today's signature quote. The quote is a semi-random thing. Today's -- by random chance -- is quite relevant.

Nick Lethbridge    /    Consulting Dexitroboper
Agamedes Consulting    /   Problems? Solved.
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"Are you one of those people who think wallowing in unhappiness and bad luck is the same as toughing it out?" … Ononoki (an anime character)
  

MRI (good) results

I like to leave the doctoring to the doctors. If the doc says, You're fine, then I feel fine. If the doc says, You're crook, then I ask, So what's the treatment? In general I prefer to not know too many details, it can be a worry.

Mind you, I also enjoy -- sometimes -- reading the more detailed analysis. Such as the interpretation of my latest MRI. With my thoughts as (*) footnotes. And a brain scan for your viewing pleasure...

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MRI BRAIN
CLINICAL HISTORY
67 year old with history of right parietal GBM.
FINDINGS
Comparison is made with previous MRI of brain from 25/2/20.

Previous right parietal craniotomy is noted. There is a small haemosiderin lined surgical cavity involving the right parieto-occipital region unchanged from the previous MRI. There is surrounding abnormal T2 and FLAIR signal within the cerebral white matter. The degree of T2 signal change has reduced slightly when compared to the previous MRI. A lobulated enhancing focus is again noted within the right peri-trigonal region. This has contracted slightly(a) when compared to the previous MRI and does not appear to produce any mass effect on today's study. The overall dimensions have not significantly [changed] with maximal dimension of 17mm(b).

No other focus of abnormal parenchymal enhancement is identified. There is no evidence of abnormal leptomeningeal enhancement. A tiny focus of haemosiderin staining is seen within the left parietal white matter which is stable. No evidence of acute intracranial haemorrhage. The deep grey nuclei, brainstem and cerebellum are normal(c). There is no evidence of hydrocephalus or an extra-axial collection.

COMMENT

1. Previous right parietal craniotomy is noted with stable appearance(d) of haemosiderin line resection cavity within the right parieto-occipital region.

2. The lobulated enhancing right peri-trigonal lesion appears to have contracted slightly when compared to the previous MRI from 25/2/20. There is also decrease in the degree of abnormal T2 signal within the right cerebral white matter. The overall appearances are suggestive of post-treatment change(e) however continued short term follow-up with repeat MRI in 3 months is recommended(f).

3. No other abnormal parenchymal or leptomeningeal enhancement is identified.
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My footnotes:

(a) I think this means that the scary shadow of the earlier MRI has shrunk... More evidence that it is just dead brain rather than live tumour. Good news :-) 

(b) Seems to me like a lot of dead brain. Luckily I have some spare. Which I keep in a jar on my desk...

(c) Okay, that seems clear enough. "Normal" must be good.

(d) Okay, that must be the operation scar. Stable seems good. And I think "resection" is "the cut".

(e) Brain is still recovering.

(f) Stay on the three-month scan schedule. Things may change.

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I enjoyed reading the specialist's analysis. Though I gained just as much useful information from the doc's, No change, scan again in three months.

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And here's an interesting photo:

See the bit in the middle? I circled it in red, for convenience. That -- I believe -- is the little key: wind it up to keep the brain ticking over.

Or it may just be the lobulated enhancing focus.

and yes, it's clear again :-)

My informant... is absolutely correct: my latest brain scan shows, no change from the previous. Which is good! So I am officially fit & healthy for another three months :-)

The relief -- both Deb & me -- is palpable. No matter how well we accept the inevitable -- with its unknown date -- it is a huge relief to know... not this time. Relief and an improved mood.

Last week I tried shopping for presents. It's my annual thing -- a hobbit habit that I enjoy -- I buy presents for the immediate family on my own birthday. Last week I tried buying -- and failed. There was nothing I was willing to buy. It was all rubbish :-(

Today -- no worries! Potential presents just leap off the shelves at me... Okay, it still takes me an hour or so... but it's easy (okay, easier) -- and it's fun :-)

And if members of the family are reading this: don't worry, the presents are still rubbish :-)

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Just to add to the "keep smiling" challenge -- I'm fresh from the dentist. I have a fresh filling just below a crown, a re-glued crown, a root canal which was started before the corona-close-down. The dentist worries:

Cancer treatment has a bad effect on ability to fight infection. So he doesn't want to leave decay -- which may reach & infect a nerve. Best long-term treatment would be to replace the entire crown but I don't really want long-term fixes :-)

Some cancer drugs slow down bone healing, so he doesn't want to pull the  tooth with the incomplete root canal, though that would be a better long-term option. Even better would be an implant -- but that risks poor healing of the jaw bone. So that one will be finished -- at another appointment -- as a tooth root cleaned and sealed and left as it snapped off flush with the gum.

I reassure him, my healing powers are great... Yes treatment knocked red & while blood cells down to the floor but they soon recovered. None of my drugs were the bone-weakening ones and anyway, it's months since I was a druggie.

We compromise on a good treatment which is not the best if I plan for another twenty years of fine dining. As I tell him, If I'm sitting in his chair in another five years, complaining about today's bad decision -- then we'll both be laughing :-)

Dr Nick Lethbridge / Consulting Dexitroboper

...        Agamedes Consulting / Problems ? Solved

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"No sense being pessimistic. It wouldn't work anyway." … per Ginger Meggs
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Dying for you to read my blog, at https: // notdotdeaddotyet .blogspot. com. au/ :-)