It's amazing how cheerful I am :-) All it takes to cheer me up is... a lot of effort by other people...
A week or two back, the internet goes down. Days later, it works again. Except that it doesn't. The nbn has failed so the modem switches to a backup system. Everything appears to be working normally. Except for World of Warcraft which does not work at all.
I re-cable according to a Telstra diagram, it doesn't help. I put it back as it was. The internet is now dead again. Completely. I lock myself in the bedroom with a good book.
Meanwhile... Deb has been putting up with me and the kids have been working on fixing the problem. I blame Deb for how nice our kids are.
The problem is solved, bypassed. A Telstra technician will be by to fix the basic problem, a faulty nbn modem. A huge weight is lifted. I play WoW for many hours...
The feeling of helplessness just... vanishes. I had the feeling that the world is too complicated, when things go wrong there is nothing I can do, my ability to enjoy life is subject to the random whim of enormous faceless bureaucracies with neither interest in nor ability to support individual needs.
The kids prove that individuals can navigate the complexity and solve individual problems. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
As suddenly as flicking a switch -- I am cheerful again. Ready to play WoW, ready to code an app, ready to ... sit happily and wait for a Telstra tech to fix the final problem.
I do worry at how close to the surface there is a store of misery and anger. But, well, I've always been like that. I can be a real moody bugger. Cross me at your peril...
Nick Lethbridge / Consulting Dexitroboper
Agamedes Consulting / Problems? Solved.
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"Are you one of those people who think wallowing in unhappiness and bad luck is the same as toughing it out?" … Ononoki (an anime character)
I'm glad you're doing okay. I myself am going through horrific medical situation but I am finding it hard to be cheerful. I have lost a feeling of normality that I had and I am looking to getting that back. Plus being horrifically this sick has changed me but human mind has the ability to forget so with time I hope and pray I have more good days and it will all heal and forgotten and I hope the same for you. I pray that you stay great and cheerful as well. From a fellow blogger. nerdsrealm.blogspot.com. You will be in my prayers. And I hope you keep me in yours as well.
ReplyDeleteI didn't even know there was such thing as brain cancer... How amazingly rare is it? I too have something rare that's autoimmune but the C word is one scary fella..
ReplyDeleteWe're not alone in battling nasty diseases. Not that "we are not alone" really helps :-( I look on the bright side: my cancer will be terminal but -- so far -- the treatment is even worse! Hmmm... is that the bright side :-?
ReplyDeleteSome days are awful, some days are good. I enjoy the good days. And try to put up with the bad days.
I hope you have plenty of good days in the future!