I've started looking at white-haired couples with a twinge of envy. For years I've had this image of growing old with Deb, of supporting each other as we gradually -- like old lecturers -- lose our faculties. Now it seems as though Deb will grow old & grey without me. Sigh. I hope that Deb will be okay.
Mind you, we both already have the grey hair, at least. I may have given it to Deb. But I was expecting quite a few more years together, as we fade from grey to white.
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At the same time, the expectation that I will die "soon" seems unrealistic. Rather, I am still in double-think: at one and the same time I think, Okay, I'm dying... and, No, I can't believe that I'm dying.
Whatever the truth (and yes, I do know the truth) I'm enjoying life. Except for the background of worry about Deb.
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Except for the weeks of both of us having a cold :-( "A" cold ?! It could be a couple of colds, one after the other. Deb battles on. I suffer and get as much sympathy as possible...
On the bad days -- as the cold waxes and wanes -- I suffer from the cold. Cold temperature, that is. Every winter I suffer from the cold -- but having a cold makes me notice it more. Several nights, I end up sleeping in three or four thermal tops, thermal long-johns and a wool beanie. Plus pyjamas, of course. With Deb warm & cosy and generating heat next to me. But I'm still cold.
On a particularly cold night I have an interesting visual problem...
I wake up, middle of the night. Glance at the bedside clock to see the time... and can barely see the clock! The glow-in-the-dark figures are a pale, barely visible grey! I sit up... rub my eyes... push the wool beanie off my face... and can see clearly again. Phew :-)
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All else is fine :-) Fine enough that I really notice how unfit I am. That, however, is something that I can do something about... If only I can be bothered.
Dr Nick Lethbridge / Consulting Dexitroboper
... Agamedes Consulting / Problems ? Solved
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"What a trial it is to submit to the whim of fools." … Captain Trumane, The Waking Fire
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Clearly you should have followed my example and gone grey in your 30s.
ReplyDeleteStill very fit for an old bloke.
ReplyDelete