I now have three accepted but contradictory ETDs.
First, the medical statistical view: I have a 50% chance of living past September this year. Having spent six months complaining & being treated & suffering treatment side-effects, that leaves a 50% chance of six more months to live. Six months ? Not enough time to plan or act on any good plans, so useless for all practical purposes.
So I set my planning horizon far enough ahead to allow for more interesting activities. I plan for a further three years, one calendar month and an indeterminate number of days. Since this is always based on "today", I can plan holidays and such anytime up to (as of today) August 2021. Plenty of time to enter the trail run across Cradle Mountain though perhaps not enough time to get fit enough for the run :-)
Then a friend told me that he had met a woman whose brother had brain cancer and survived for six years. So I accepted my friend's recommendation that I should plan to live for another six years. At least.
Now I have three, different, planning horizons. No worries ! With skillful use of double-think -- I accept them all :-) And hope that I will be equally accepting of whichever one proves to be closest to correct.
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On Friday, Deb & I take a drive in the country. Enjoying being out in the country and finding a few geocaches on the way. We stop for lunch in the small town of York.
Small town ? Small world ! Out of all the places we could have stopped for lunch -- in York we see, call out to, chat with a friend who is also just passing through York.
We met Sarah on a 28 day cruise to Antarctica. Speaking of which: that cruise was the most expensive holiday that we, Deb & I, have ever taken. Was it worth it ? Yes ! The cruise -- and the Antarctic experience -- were well worth the expense. (This blog was originally created for holidays; Antarctica is way down the page at January 2017.) Worth the expense ? Yes, but...
I worried about the cost of the trip. Then I collapsed and was diagnosed with cancer. For a few months the money spent on Antarctica had been, That's a fair chunk of our savings, I think our next holidays will be on the cheap. Now I see it as, Well worth the cost, no way we could go there now. One less thing to worry about :-)
Deb, Sarah & I chat, exchange news, part. Deb says to me, I wonder if Sarah noticed that you (ie me) are wearing the same shirt that you (yes, me) wore nearly every day on the Antarctic expedition...
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But I have now bought two new shirts ! Specially embroidered:
That's my plan. To enjoy life -- with a brain scan every three months followed by another three months -- hopefully -- clear. I think it's sort of funny. I also, occasionally, need to remind myself to, enjoy.
Deb says, What if the scans become every *six* months ? Okay, I reply, I'll get new shirts... and next time, I'll remember to include the web address for this blog !
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Meanwhile... other friends and relations are falling ill. Strokes, heart problems, various cancers, you name it. A problem, I guess, with knowing so many people of about my own age :-) Still, it's difficult. As far as I can tell, I may be the healthiest person I know. Sure, mine is terminal -- eventually -- other than that I'm relatively fit and well.
I've said it before: I'm glad it's me with cancer, not Deb nor the kids. With all this blatant one-up-manship of diseases and treatments -- I'm even more pleased with my choice of diseases. So far... :-)
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"Things do not happen. Things are made to happen." -- John F. Kennedy
Have you noticed that my posts end with a quote ? I collect quotes that I like then occasionally change my email signature. There's usually no relevance to the specific email, it's just a quote I like. Or a quote which I feel is relevant to my life...
Kennedy, above, is half right. Things are made to happen ? Not -- as far as we currently know -- with my form of cancer. On the other hand, how I deal with it is very much something that I have "made to happen".
I could -- as some people do -- dedicate the rest of my life to discovering a cure for cancer. I'd rather donate to the Salvos :-) What I can do -- what I choose to do -- is to enjoy life. Neither more nor less than "pre-cancer". Perhaps, though, more consistently.
As far as anyone can tell, cancer did, just happen. How I deal with it is up to me. So I do my best :-)
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Currently I am in a holding pattern. As far as cancer is concerned that is. So, I decide, I will fill a few blog posts with deep and meaningful philosophy. (That's the section above, in case you didn't realise.) Then I start typing this post and -- surprise, surprise ! -- there are far more words that I expected. Nothing to report ? Doesn't stop my flow of words :-)
I may pad future posts with "philosophy" based loosely on quotes. I enjoy it :-) And this blog is still, essentially, for me.
Dr Nick Lethbridge / Consulting Dexitroboper
... Agamedes Consulting / Problems ? Solved
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"What a trial it is to submit to the whim of fools." … Captain Trumane, The Waking Fire
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I enjoy the quotes. Also your blog.
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