Funny how having cancer attracts other people with cancer. Well, not funny. It can be easy to talk to other people with the same disease. No matter what the disease.
I also find a possibly morbid interest in articles about other people with cancer. What happened to them? How did they cope?
And another thing which is funny-peculiar: these articles are mostly written by people who did not have cancer. They watch a friend, a family member die and are affected. Grief. Sorrow. Occasionally -- for no good reason -- in my opinion -- by guilt.
This headline caught my attention: "She was dead. I was alive. And I was going to need to make up for that somehow." Why?! I had to look at the article.
Ah, okay. The writer was five when her sister died at age seven. Young children think all sorts of wrong things. This need to atone for something which was not her fault, seems to have damaged the writer for the next twenty years of her life. Or more.
I have cancer. I will die. It's not the fault of some random relative. Other people may step up to support Deb. Not because of some ridiculous feelings of guilt. Just because Deb is Deb and other people may want to provide support.
This goes back to an earlier worry: How will our young grandson understand it when I finally die? As a thing which just happened. No blame, no responsibility. Some sadness then get on with life. I hope.
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I turn the next page and -- it must be cancer story week -- another woman writes: "You keep going, but there's a hole in your heart." Yep, I think, that's more like it. You keep going.
Okay, there's more angst in the article. As far as I can tell -- from a quick skim (I'm drawn to these articles but not enough to really read them) treatment could have been better.
One woman dying, dead. Her sister is upset, fair enough, but she carries on. The sister now supports lung cancer awareness, good, she did make a promise. No guilt. No blame. Just support for strangers. I hope.
Here's a problem, she thinks -- I'm suddenly and painfully aware of it. Too late for this person. But can I do something to help fix the problem for other people? Then that's what I'll do... And that's a good response -- if you're in a position to help. Without giving up your own life.
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As for me (and yes, it's my blog, it's always about me :-) I won't be worried.
Dr Nick Lethbridge / Consulting Dexitroboper
... Agamedes Consulting / Problems ? Solved
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"Choice, not chance, determines your destiny" … Aristotle
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True death of a loved one leaves a hole in your heart, but life goes on as it must. Not only for your own peace of mind but also for the sake of those around you.
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