nothing happens

Deb and I have lunch at Matilda Bay Cafe.

Sunshine, river view, good food, good company :-)

And nothing happens...

It's lucky that this blog is purely for *my* benefit, or I could be embarrassed at the lack of action.

There have been months when... nothing happens. So... months with no post... that's the way it goes.

Or I may consider the occasional reader and post a quick "nothing happens" ... :-)

Until a surgeon tells me that I am finally, definitely, dying. And I post a lot of words explaining that to myself.

There is no balance to this cancerous plot... No neat balance. Only, as far as I can -- completeness and honesty.

The big excitement for today is not even new, just not yet posted: I have a ACROD sticker. So there is a slightly better choice of where to park. woohoo :-)

Dr Nick Lethbridge / Independent Dexitroboper

you cannot back into the future

===

..: notdotdeaddotyet.blogspot.com

dream confusion

i fall asleep on the sofa b4 deb goes to bed. then i wake after midnight. wake with a list of things i need to do now that im awake anyway. simple things to do, such as a couple of emails to write.

i start one email

... then realise -- 

... my list of emails was the tail end of a dream! i was still asleep.

... and then...

i may have been dreaming

... but the dream was correct: i do need to write those emails.

ok, now im awake... i hope :-)

better write those emails before i dream that i should be doing something ridiculous !

You can not Back into the Future
===

http://notdotdeaddotyet.blogspot.com
dying for you to read it :-)

===

Dr Nick Lethbridge
Consulting Dexitroboper

   

change of season

deb goes for a run and leaves me to walk alone in the park. Kings Park, this time.

last few walks have been perfect Spring days. sunny, cool, fresh and green.

today

... the season has moved on.

warm, dry. the bush and grass are dry, brown, sand showing through. very typical WA bush :-)

by the time i reach Zamia cafe i'm glad i can buy a drink.

it's almost time to complain about the heat :-)

butnot quite.

today, the weather is beautiful. and one bare km is enough to tire me out. Hey! there was some uphill :-)

half blind. half deaf. dying of cancer.
so what?

http://notdotdeaddotyet.blogspot.com
dying for you to read it :-)


http://my3rs.blogspot.com/

Dr Nick Lethbridge
Consulting Dexitroboper

   

god's own

 Deb and I are at the shops when I'm tackled (verbally!) by a Christian. I am the way, the truth and the light, he says.

do you know who said that? he asks me.

whatever I answered was not entirely satisfactory.

It was the directly inspired word of god, the man tells me.

In god's own autobiography? I ask.

If I were to write my autobiography, I continue,

I could also claim whatever I want.

I will go to heaven, the man tells me, confidently.

You, the man continues, will suffer 

the eternal torments of hell.

I have long known my opinion of this rubbish. 

There is no way that i will worship any creature just because they threaten me with violent and eternal revenge. Quite the opposite, I am too amazed to respond.

you will never get to heaven, the Christian confidently informs me.

I won't miss you but, i hope that you enjoy your heaven.

and so we part.

I do enjoy a discussion with a man of fixed opinions.A man who is not afraid to state his beliefs.

half blind. half deaf. dying of cancer.
so what?

http://notdotdeaddotyet.blogspot.com
dying for you to read it :-)


http://my3rs.blogspot.com/

Dr Nick Lethbridge
Consulting Dexitroboper

   

nothing but complaints

i wake with mild indigestion.

not to worry, it's mild, i essentially ignore it.

okay, it does ache just where i suspect my heart could be. possible heart attack? i doubt it, my heart is well tested.

anyway

... i'm reliably informed thar a heart attack comes with "feelings of doom". nope. i definitely dont have any such feelings.

i just have the doom !

lmao

ive been waiting hours to use (or possibly reuse) that line ;-)

what does annoy me is aching teeth...

a possible side effect of chemo?

it slows down my eating, otherwise no great problem.

i'm hoping its actually aching jaws... from sleeping with tightly clenched teeth.

ive had that, dealt with it, before.

so now i practise sleeping with relaxed jaws.

see... nothing but complaints...

and if that's the worst that i can complain about

... well

... that's  something to be glad about :-)

which is what Pollyanna would say

... in case you ever wonder :-)

half blind. half deaf. dying of cancer.
so what?

http://notdotdeaddotyet.blogspot.com
dying for you to read it :-)


http://my3rs.blogspot.com/

Dr Nick Lethbridge
Consulting Dexitroboper

   

Early recce

I wake up from a dream inspired by old SF stories.

The dream ends with a character doing a recce into a nearby village. So I... wake up, get up and recce the front garden :-) Bring in the paper.

Beautiful, cool, Spring morning. Best time of year.

Last night's  headache is even less, perhaps one half on a scale of zero to ten.

Tired, of course, still restless, not worried.

Though I'm getting worse at tracking the days of the week. I mean, who cares?

Only in the garden I notice the bins are out, so today must be Tuesday, bin collection day.

(And swimming lesson day, good)

Ah, of course it is

... I check on my online calendar :-)

half blind. half deaf. dying of cancer.
so what?

http://notdotdeaddotyet.blogspot.com
dying for you to read it :-)


http://my3rs.blogspot.com/

Dr Nick Lethbridge
Consulting Dexitroboper

   

Restless

I'm restless.

No clear task to be done.

No emails to be written (yet)

I'd like to read but, no book that I particularly want to read. And reading can be tiring.

 sigh...

My current instructions are:

I'm on reduced dex, half a day? Deb knows.

If I get a headache, increase the dex.

I have a headache, perhaps one on a 1 to 10 scale,

Barely enough to notice but, it exists.

A headache is not a good sign.

Also, my teeth? Gums? Ache. 

Again, mild... but it does slow down my eating.

Deb gives me an extra half dex

If symptoms persist... I'll wake Deb:-)

Meanwhile, I'm restless.

And.a bit worried;_

I have a snack, for something to do.

Back to being restless on the couch.

half blind. half deaf. dying of cancer.
so what?

http://my3rs.blogspot.com/

Dr Nick Lethbridge
Consulting Dexitroboper

   

On the couch

I've spent hours on the couch

... too tired to move

... drifting between crossword, magazine, election plans, good memories, ... and sleeping.

Like a vegetable ... composting :-)

Some thoughts have crystallised.

It's time to document them

... then get up and go to bed!

half blind. half deaf. dying of cancer.
so what?

http://my3rs.blogspot.com/

Dr Nick Lethbridge
Consulting Dexitroboper

   

Not... A walk in the Park

Deb needs a long run, I'm happy to sit and wait in the park :-)

We go to the same Cafe where we met friends yesterday.

Again, no close-by parking.

I can park in the same spot, deb tells me, so you can find your way between car and Cafe...

Umm

Yesterday I followed deb. But by myself...? No

I end up sitting in the sun at our very familiar usual parking spot.

Too far to walk for coffee but... I know exactly where I am. Very reassuring :-)

So I guess I still have ... navigational ... challenges and doubts :-)

Deb runs for 40 minutes or so.

I sit.

A relaxing morning.... for me :-)

half blind. half deaf. dying of cancer.
so what?

http://my3rs.blogspot.com/

Dr Nick Lethbridge
Consulting Dexitroboper

   

Phew!

Deb and I go out to what extends into a long lunch, catching up with friends. Very enjoyable.

Deb returns home to finish cleaning the house.

I return home to

... snooze :-)

Phew !

half blind. half deaf. dying of cancer.
so what?
notdotdeaddotyet.blogspot.com :-)

Dr Nick Lethbridge
Consulting Dexitroboper

   

hemp again

I've decided that I may as well run for parliament, again.

HEMP is now LCA, Legalise Cannabis Australia.

My support is still based on... freedom of choice... and I definitely choose, No.

But why now?

The key contender in churchlands, my electorate, is zempilas.

Aside from his backing by the big WA media conglomerate...

I figure I can compare myself favourably.

Anyway, his party are clowns,  fighting over party leadership...in a party of two:-)

To LCA I explain that I am now past the uncertain possibility that I could suddenly be rushed off to hospital heh :-)

half blind. half deaf. dying of cancer.
so what?
notdotdeaddotyet.blogspot.com :-)

Dr Nick Lethbridge
Consulting Dexitroboper

   

Breaking into bureaucracy

There are a few things I'm trying to get done, or started. 

They all seem to start with me sending emails then... of course... getting no response.

A lot of the problem is that I work when I like. Other people stop for nights, weekends and such. So the rest of the world seems to creep by... so very slowly.  I try to be patient :-)

Today I try phone calls. All very polite, definitely subtle.

Eg for government agencies:

Okay, I'll give it a few more days then call back.

Or, you're in such and such a ministry? I don't want to disturb the wrong minister with a complaint...

I suspect (hope) that I will at least break past the first walls of defence against ideas from out of the unknown.

half blind. half deaf. dying of cancer.
so what?
notdotdeaddotyet.blogspot.com :-)

Dr Nick Lethbridge
Consulting Dexitroboper

   

But what about?

I wake suddenly at 2 am and realise... I have missed an entire area of planning (for the short future)

What about Deb?

Practical matters are fine. Deb, and the boys, are more than capable.

What of deb's mood?

I tell her to be upset but not too worried, I won't be worried.

But she can't use the line, now he's someone else's problem, I've already used that on a recent widow.

What does feel... just right... is:

Deb wakes up one morning, I don't.

So Deb goes out and, too late for me to hear

... plays some loud Meatloaf and/or Queen.

Then we decide that deb will do

... whatever she likes, I won't be worried.

So that is that, sorted :-)

half blind. half deaf. dying of cancer.
so what?
notdotdeaddotyet.blogspot.com :-)

Dr Nick Lethbridge
Consulting Dexitroboper

   

Tiring Tuesday:-)

Start Tuesday with a 2km stroll with the ghost who Walkers... phew! Surprisingly tiring

Sometime during the day my shingles scabs? Decided to ooze yuk :-(

Nothing serious but needed to put on a clean, dry shirt.

Take grandson to after school swimming, lesson then play with plenty of, what am I, challenges... getting tricky as he gets older.

We drop him home, to a noisy welcome from his sister

We tiptoe away, drive home... to the peace and quiet of just two of us.

Tuesday is always tiring -- but great fun.

half blind. half deaf. dying of cancer.
so what?
notdotdeaddotyet.blogspot.com :-)

Dr Nick Lethbridge
Consulting Dexitroboper

   

IV and more

Another IV of beelzebub today. Chemo to possibly ... slow down... tumour growth.

It strikes me that... if I remember correctly...

When I was first diagnosed with terminal GBM4 ... monoclonal antibody chemo was almost a dream, a dream of a future possibility.

Now it's an easy part of my treatment.

I live, still, in fortunate times.

Today's treatment was short, just 20 minutes.

Except

... first they needed a urine sample.

If only they had mentioned this before I had cleared my bladder for extended lying down for chemo. Sigh

Still, waiting for that dehydrated Frenchman-- pee-air bah boom!

Meant that I scored some sandwiches while waiting :-)

And that's something to be glad about :-)

===

Today is 11th November.

I always try for a minute's silence at 11am.

Not that I know anyone at all who has died in any war.

Just a generic gratitude and orrow and remembrance.

Today I remembered Cassie.

A recent, sad, miserable story.

half blind. half deaf. dying of cancer.
so what?
notdotdeaddotyet.blogspot.com :-)

Dr Nick Lethbridge
Consulting Dexitroboper

   

better mood

fifty finalists for the short story competition are announced. Guess what? I'm not one.

But...

Last year I read a few winners, thought, what a load of rubbish.

This year I read one, think, that's a good story, I look at other titles, think, hey, I'm going to enjoy reading those.

Seems clear that -- this year -- I am in a far better mood than I was this time last year :-)

Dr Nick Lethbridge / Independent Dexitroboper

half blind, half deaf, dying of cancer,

So what.

===

..: notdotdeaddotyet.blogspot.com

Emotional baggage

A couple of... emotions... to cover.

Not sure where I'll get :-)

So...

This morning I'm outside, to bring in the paper.

I'm feeling as fine, and mild, as the weather.

Except for an odd thought:

Here I am, feeling fine.

Inside my brain is a cancer. A cancer which is placed, and active, to kill me.

It's a strange thought.

Really, I'm not sure how I feel about it. Just... odd :-)

In general:

I have spent seven years with terminal cancer.

Constantly aware that it will, eventually, kill me. (Unless a bus gets me first:-)

Except, the brain and cancer being very complex, no-one can predict how it will start.

Headaches? Another collapse? Lose more vision? Some other form of crazy?

Seven years of feeling fine but watching and waiting for... symptoms. Symptoms that the tumour is, once again, active.

Now we know that the tumour is, definitely active.

Being slowed by beelzebub but well-established.

Expected symptoms of impending death are very narrow: increasing exhaustion, growing paralysis.

Nothing unexpected is expected, ha :-)

So how do I feel about that?

Definitely nervous.

Wondering, am I tired from lack of sleep or... something more serious.

One ... improvement... is very clear.

Waiting on unpredictable symptoms added a lot of stress to my life. I don't think I realised just how much stress.

But now I can feel it. Very clearly:  a huge area of stress is just... gone!

I can feel it clearly: worried, yes. But far less emotional stress.

And that is something to be glad about :-)

half blind. half deaf. dying of cancer.
so what?
notdotdeaddotyet.blogspot.com :-)

Dr Nick Lethbridge
Consulting Dexitroboper

   

I'm only half right

Or am I completely wrong :-?

More thoughts on Langer

... a good topic,

... he does make me think.

So does this response. Thank you :-)

 Why not. I reckon everyone should try to be a winner. It really depends what winning is to an individual. Not everyone can be high achievers but they can win in there own way.

...

I am not a winner.

I will work,for success but .. not too hard.

Sometimes I look at my capabilities and think,

How much more could I do? Achieve?

If I were willing to try harder.

It would require a complete change in my attitude... in who am.

I am not willing to do that. Even deb agrees with that :-)

And yet

... Humanity advances because individuals want to win

... they try to win

... some do succeed

... and humanity advances.

Langer wants to be a winner

...he does have the ability

... he works hard to be a winner

... he succeeds

... and is a very positive influence.

Thanks to Langer

... and to other people who want to win

... and who work

... and try hard

... to win

... humanity advances.

We win at cricket. We reach the Moon.

We all... win.

We may... win... yes, in our own way.

But, "should try" to win?

Well, why not?

We should try.

If we do not even try

...then we lose.

Dang it Col...

You have lead me to change my mind

... my attitude.

Because you are absolutely correct.

Yes, we *should* all try to be winners.

In our own way.

Individual wins may seem small... or large.

We each should

... try to win

...win our own way.

Individual wins are good for the individual.

Even losses, are

... better than not even trying.

We should try... because even very small wins add up.

And that

...that is good for us all.

half blind. half deaf. dying of cancer.
so what?
notdotdeaddotyet.blogspot.com :-)

Dr Nick Lethbridge
Consulting Dexitroboper

   

Double-void victory

This should be the last of the pissing posts.

All problems have been solved:-)

It starts with the discovery that, my bladder is never really empty. No matter how I push the piss, at least a half cup of urine is still in the bladder.

This leads to

... drips and dribbles.

Need to pee far too many times each night.

Often just minutes after the last pee.

Can't leave the house

... without needing to find a toilet while out, and again...

May also lead to UTIs

And so on. and on.

A real... nuisance.

The never-empty bladder is a common problem.

The "professional" advice is, to "double-void.

That is, to pee-- and then pee again.

Well, surprise, the first pee failed to empty, the second pee will push out no more.

All this is covered in a lot of my posts.

Along with way in which a double-void *can* work.

 I can now, if I remember, squeeze out that last lot of urine.

Result: an actually empty bladder.

None of the annoying pee too often symptoms above.

If you want the "secret" you'll have to read a lot of earlier posts.

For this post, it's  easy:

Last night, I pee once before going to bed.

Drink some water. Sleep soundly all night

... sleep soundly. Wake much later, then have a morning pee.

All very easy.

Next day: we go shopping. Drink coffee, eat cake.

Have no need to pee, certainly none of the desperate need of the past.

Hours later, go home, for a necessary but hardly urgent pee.

All so very relaxing !

Only one thing to remember:

If I do pee in the middle of the night

... it may feel finished, I may be tired, ready to go back to bed

But... must remember to get the double, second void activated.

The night is when I must...remember... to double void.

And now the day is

... so very, very relaxed.

half blind. half deaf. dying of cancer.
so what?
notdotdeaddotyet.blogspot.com :-)

Dr Nick Lethbridge
Consulting Dexitroboper

   

try to listen

I'm living at home. In "palliative" care. That's not good but, could be worse.

Hey Deb! I have come home to die. Nonsense... you came home weeks before to-die! ba-boom :-)

Anyway, there is no real time limit. Meanwhile, it's a great life :-)

I'm cared for by Deb, who more than cares. Cared for by the kids, who do as they should: get on with their own lives.

And cared for by professional carers.

Those professionals are well-trained. And they honestly care It's all a great service.

Only trouble is: the professionals are trained to care but they seem unable to listen, to adapt.

Palliative care involves a lot of people, patients, who are frail and aged. Possibly, most are both. Frail and aged comes, with the need for palliative care.

I am aged -- but not frail. Try to explain that -- and the carers are not able to hear.

Take the four steps between me and the kitchen:

One of the early carers has a simple rhyme to get me safely up stairs. Something about, first knee up to heaven, next knee... I don't know. A safety rhyme from his recent training, I guess. Designed to remind me -- the frail, aged patient -- how to safely step up, and down.

Except: it is nonsense.

I can step up. I can step down. I could step up two or three steps at a time. I could jump, safely, down all four steps at once. (No, not even I am that stupid :-)

What I can *not* do -- is clearly see where I am placing my left foot.

Going up, going down, doesn't matter... when my left foot approaches the ground -- I need to place it carefully. Or I may miss my footing. My *left* footing.

I try to explain this... the carer is unable to listen. He repeats his rhyme for the frail and elderly.

He cares. He provides advice (some more useful) 

He is trapped by his training. By his preconceptions:

I am a palliative care patient. I must be frail and aged. I need help with stairs... A problem with vision -- because it involves neither age nor frailty -- is beyond his understanding.

It's known as crystallised learning: 

First is fluid learning: a young child sees what is really there. As we get older, we overlay reality with more and more experience.

Eventually we have so much experience that we can instantly see the solution to any problem... we are now acknowledged "experts" -- unless the problem is not what we, in all our experience, have learnt to see.

We lose the ability to be "fluid" thinkers. What we see is... what we *expect* to see.

You see it often in older, experienced managers. They've done all this before. In any situation, they quickly know what to do.

They are experienced, expert managers. Unless they fail to see that this situation is... different. Then they apply the same old, tested and true, solutions -- which now fail.

Sometimes the explanations for failure, the excuses, are just as tested and true... fully crystallised :-)

Hmmm... I had no idea that rant would wander so far afield :-)

So:

yes, you know. Yes, you are the expert.

You still need to look. To observe. To ask. To listen.

Perhaps... this time... there is something different.

Be prepared to think fluidly.

You may find a better solution.

Or, at least, a solution which fits the situation: as it actually exists. In this particular situation.

Be... fluid... in your thinking.

Listen... carefully... to the patient.

Dr Nick Lethbridge / Independent Dexitroboper

half blind, half deaf, dying of cancer,

So what.

===

..: notdotdeaddotyet.blogspot.com

Langer life

Last week I had a dig at Justin Langer (different blog)

He sees life as a series of highlights, hitting a six at the MCG for example. the rest as filler. All the training, just lead up to the highlights. 

My life has less focus.

Today, for example.

Deb and I finish our weekly shopping. Walk to the car.

I think, what a very pleasant day :-)

Sipping coffee. Snacking on cake, leave the bit that is too much. Deb's pleasant, relaxed company.

And that's it... a very pleasant day.

Langer is successful. A good bloke. A leader and an inspiration.

His problem is that... he does not seem to recognise that other people may be satisfied by all sorts of different things.

That's because he's a winner. Driven by the urge to succeed.

We need winners.

Not everyone must (try to ) be a winner.

Today is... for me...

Another excellent day :-)

half blind. half deaf. dying of cancer.
so what?
notdotdeaddotyet.blogspot.com :-)

Dr Nick Lethbridge
Consulting Dexitroboper

   

Oh, it's shingles!

So now I have shingles! How very ordinary :-)

Silver Chain provide a script. ( scrip?)

Deb rushes out to get a dose of anti-viral tablets.

Deb is so pleased. To be doing... something... anything...

Well, something approved and useful :-)

And so we're both enjoying ourselves.

And I'm also itchy.

half blind. half deaf. dying of cancer.
so what?
notdotdeaddotyet.blogspot.com :-)

Dr Nick Lethbridge
Consulting Dexitroboper

   

Reaction

My chest itches. I finally think to look.

Wow! That looks nasty, some sort of a rash?

Ooohh... it itches.

Do I finally have some sort of an allergic reaction to chemo?

Ooohh... I go to bed.

Next morning, I proudly show my rash to Deb.

Her instant reaction is...

Quick, call a doctor, get treatment, drugs, any injection... do something. I rub the itch :-)

Last year, deb had an anti shingles injection, perhaps I did too? We could phone the GP, ask. That's too slow for deb. She phones the 24 hour Silver Chain number for support, advice, help. That was half an hour ago, no call-back yet.

Here's my cunning plan:

Do nothing (except itch and rub) till my next IV treatment. That's five days.

Then, fill in the standard pre-treatment form...

At last I'll be able to tick something other than... no, no, no, no....

Aha! Silver chain call back. Some action for deb:-)

Call the oncologist, tell her, they say. Then, if advised, the GP.

Call? I'll send an email, Daphne is good at responding (when she's working:-)

Deb is a lot happier, now she is able to do ... something... anything :-)

half blind. half deaf. dying of cancer.
so what?
notdotdeaddotyet.blogspot.com :-)

Dr Nick Lethbridge
Consulting Dexitroboper

   

side-effect

An unexpected side-effect of my being banned from going upstairs: 

Most of my clean clothes are still in the upstairs bedroom. If I want a clean shirt, I ask Deb to bring one down for me. What if she chooses the wrong shirt? Quelle horreur :-)

The result is... I've been wearing pretty much the same clothes for... quite a while now.

I'm thinking... tomorrow I may go full-Pom... change into clean clothes. Whether I need to or not :-)

Today is a good day. A few emails written and sent overnight, though they now need a follow-up phone call.

And... with the rogaine wrapped up... I find that I missed one of my letters being printed in the paper. And missed a response, not an attack but a letter in a similar vein... from another Letter-writer.

Autographs available on request :-)

Caught up with my favourite (only remaining) aunt. She's in hospital (respite) not well, but still alive :-)

The rest of the day is relaxing and enjoyable.

Tonight I'm restless, so I read till late.

Deb says that I'm due to lower my Dex, a useful drug but an "upper" ) dose tomorrow... so I should get a little more sleepy.

More sleepy? Is that even possible :-?

Dr Nick Lethbridge / Independent Dexitroboper

half blind, half deaf, dying of cancer,

So what.

===

..: notdotdeaddotyet.blogspot.com

Melbourne Cup

I ask Google, "Who will win the 2024 Cup.

Google refuses to tell me.

At least it leads to the names of some horses.

Are they running? Yes.

So now I am fully prepared to cheer for my horses in this year's Melbourne Cup.

Fyi; Vaubun and Buckaroo

Go my horsies:-)

 :-)

half blind. half deaf. dying of cancer.
so what?
notdotdeaddotyet.blogspot.com :-)

Dr Nick Lethbridge
Consulting Dexitroboper

   

Spring sunshine

Us old blokes like to say, It's a good day when you... wake up in the morning :-)

Deb and I are out at a garden centre, in the fine Spring sunshine, buying seeds and seedlings for Deb to plant. 

And I can't help thinking... with some sympathy for family members currently melting in 40+ degree heat...

I'm thinking...

What a beautiful day to be alive and out and about :-)

Dr Nick Lethbridge / Independent Dexitroboper

half blind, half deaf, dying of cancer,

So what.

===

..: notdotdeaddotyet.blogspot.com

Good, but could be better

The ogaine has barely started when deb reports: insurance and plumber have come through, we have water again :-)

Rogaine: I spend all day pacing nervously. Listening to people who seem to be enjoying the event, phew!

I tell people that the app is dead. But... later:

... The Apple version istill available and therefore working

I should have suggested trying it.

... One team has the Android version already installed.

They load this year's  map -- and it works :-)

So... a very small  test... but enough to inspire me :-)

An(other) successful, enjoyable day :-)

Now quite tired.

... 

half blind. half deaf. dying of cancer.
so what?
notdotdeaddotyet.blogspot.com :-)

Dr Nick Lethbridge
Consulting Dexitroboper

   

Everything comes...

You know what they say.

Everything comes... to he who waits.

It may be true (tho I doubt it)

Today, however, I just wish that some of it could have waited just a little bit longer.

Today is the day of "our" novelty rogaine.

It's all set, ready to run.

It will be brilliant :-)

The rogaine is also my chance to test, to show off, my app.

All data is loaded, it works brilliantly.

Ready to go, to amaze my fellow rogainers.

Early this morning there is an email:

The version on the Android library -- is no longer available.

As I understand it, I only need to tick a box in the app code. Tick, run on the latest Android version. Reload to the library

... all of which is now beyond my tech skills.

Oh well, no more new users. Existing users, app already installed, may still be able to run?

The Apple version may still download? Run? I don't know.

Various threatening msgs from Apple and Android let me know of the approaching deadlines, my best guess was... just*after* today's event. I guess I was wrong :-)

No matter. There was nothing I could do before, there is still nothing I can do.

Pwmapapp... for immediate practical use -- is dead.

On a separate matter...

We wake up to find scheme water bubbling up just outside the back door.

Deb, a woman of action, would be on the phone immediately. Calling emergency plumbers and pretending not to hear them laughing as they ratchet up thousands of dollars in emergency call-out fees.

I manage to slow deb down. Call our insurers, get them arranging for a plumber. At least to locate the problem.

As deb's father used to say... why have a dog and bark, yourself.

A plumber will be here in a few hours. Fixing, of course, will take much longer.

Meanwhile... we have no water in the house.

No great worry, we'll be spending most of today sitting in a park, with other rogainers... between public toilets and a food van. Good planning, eh:-?

Although...

The plumber will call by... just when we should be leaving for the rogaine.

Oh well, it's not far away, we all have mobile phones.

Meanwhile...

I have prepared a list of points for the pre-event briefing. Deb said I should, deb has checked and accepted.

No comment, yet, from my co-setter. Sheesh, it seems that there there are people who not spend their days watching for and responding to emails :-)

Now:

Deb is preparing to get us both out of the house and to the hash house. She will then go for a run... well away from the, to deb, key source of today's stress.

I, however, plan to spend a long but peaceful day at the hash house area.

Doing my soon to be famous imitation of Young Mr Grace.

You don't remember, Are you Being Served?

Not to worry..it was a TV show which was almost even before *my* time :-)

As -they" say:

If you can't laugh at yourself

... then you are missing the whole point of your life.

Ha!

half blind. half deaf. dying of cancer.
so what?
notdotdeaddotyet.blogspot.com :-)

Dr Nick Lethbridge
Consulting Dexitroboper

   

Hand cramp

I wake up with a painful hand.

Aching, can't stretch it, desperate to stretch it, hurts to bend it... etc

It's a sort of... RSI... muscle cramp.

If my hand had any big muscle it would be a hard knot of agony.

The hand has spent too long not moving, holding a tablet, or a book, in place. The tendons are locked in position.

Waking up after a night of no movement... it's the surface of every tendon... doing its best to cramp.

For cramp: pressure, drink, flex, warmth...

It's difficult to apply pressure across all those tendons

So I sit on the hand. Warm it with my backside, use my weight to force the hand to open, close, get moving. Get sympathy and hot tea (to clutch and to drink:-) from Deb.

Finally sort it out. Use a pressure bandage for a final ten minutes of no sudden movements.

All fixed and forgotten... till this morning, I wake with the very surface of the tendons of one calf trying to twitch and cramp.

But why? No idea. Attention-seeking, perhaps?

This one's easy. Rub, drink, twist, rest. Soon sorted. But it wakes me up.

Such a complicated, thing, a body.

So many complaints. So much to analyse. So much more fun than ignoring or working through the pain.

So much trivia to post to a blog :-)

half blind. half deaf. dying of cancer.
so what?
notdotdeaddotyet.blogspot.com :-)

Dr Nick Lethbridge
Consulting Dexitroboper

   

told you so.

This is a serious grumble:

It's a couple of weeks now, since I fell off the upstairs bed and have been banished to the downstairs.

The family have done a brilliant job of setting me up for life downstairs.

With one hiccup along the way:

Much thought went into raising our big bed. Putting it up on castors? Or on special, probably expensive, "medical" chocks? whatever.

All so that I would be less likely to fall... on or off the too-low bed.

As it turns out, there is no need: the bed is at the perfect height. Plus, I'm always very careful, I know how to stand and sit safely.

Anyway, I explain, the bed came with its own castors.

I know, I was there. I put the castors aside and stored them safely. I describe the exact location.

The family search, the castors are no longer there. Nor to be found anywhere nearby.

Not to worry, they are not needed.

Finally, tonight I think, Stuff it.

I go upstairs, all by myself. (sorry, Deb).

I go to the exact location where I placed the castors. It's easy to remember, it was only ten or twenty years ago.

I open the drawer -- the drawer as described to Deb. -- the drawer as searched "thoroughly" by Deb.

I -- put in my hand...

Working by touch, I forgot to bring my glasses.

I pick up the castors. Exactly where I remember placing them, when the bed was new.

Bloody obvious. Bloody easy.

Okay, there are some factors in my favour:

(1) I know and believe that they are there.

(2) They are rollers, not castors.

(3) They are still in the plastic bag that I can clearly visualise.

(4) I am looking as someone who *knows* what he remembers.

(5) I am *not* looking for something placed, claimed to be placed, by that silly old bugger who has just fallen over and been declared to be dying. Probably also crazy as a loon. (No use denying that one.)

Okay, end of grumble.

Tomorrow (no, later today) I shall practise gloating :-)

Ha!

Told you so :-)

Dr Nick Lethbridge / Independent Dexitroboper

half blind, half deaf, dying of cancer,

So what.

===

..: notdotdeaddotyet.blogspot.com

A very Ordinary day

Thursday is such a very ordinary day.

Walk in the park.

Weekly shopping.

Relaxed evening at home.

A flurry of emails, not so ordinary, as various people make last-minute plans for Sunday's rogaine event.

News that the grandkids did go out for trick or treat. Had fun, of course :-)

Well done parents :-)

To bed with Deb at a very ordinary time.

 No restless sleeplessness. Not till now, well after midnight, anyway.

Now I wake, get up, do some typing.

And that, too, is so very ordinary -- it's the way I have always operated.

It's hard, I think, to remember that I am officially palliative.

It's also hard to forget.

There's a shadow at the back of my brain. Reflected onto the back of my mind.

Yet I'm happy... in a very ordinary way :-)

Yes, I'm worried. A bit scared. When? not if.

The signature says, so what.

Sure, I'd rather not have the shadow but... as far as I can understand myself... I'm okay with,

So what :-)

half blind. half deaf. dying of cancer.
so what?
notdotdeaddotyet.blogspot.com :-)

Dr Nick Lethbridge
Consulting Dexitroboper