in holiday mode

A magazine article leads me to davidsavage.net/diagnosis, a website by a man who was diagnosed with a terminal illness... then re-diagnosed with a less serious version of the same. So he had thirteen weeks' of imminent death -- then back to life as usual. He's a leadership consultant so he wrote advice to the dying based on his own experience.

I skim the website. It seems to be well-meaning, possibly useful. If you're terminal and looking for advice on coping, have a look.

In this blog... there is no advice. This is just my own thinking. My own feeling. And sometimes doing.

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In the same magazine is an article on the importance -- or not -- of being bored. The boredom expert sends clients out the back of the house to spend five minutes just staring at the trees. Being bored. Just to prove that boredom is not dangerous. Sometimes it can help us to relax.

Deb stares out the window at the trees. She doesn't last five minutes... it's too boring.

I stare out the window towards the trees. Can't stop looking! It's fascinating, the way that the leaves blow in the breeze. The overall shape of the canopy of that particular tree: why is it high on one side and low on the other? And ten minutes after that... I realise that I have just spent ten minutes watching a magpie cleaning its feathers. Fascinating!

I'm not sure why the boredom expert thinks that trees are boring. I would probably be more bored by the expert :-)

Then there's an email. In part it says, "My father In law was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer 5 weeks ago and last weekend my husband and I flew to Sydney for his Funeral." Stage 4... that's my stage. 5 weeks... no, that's not me. Five weeks is no time at all. I could barely tidy my desk in that sort of time.

I have a sudden feeling, I don't want to die!

Not a strong feeling. But five weeks from diagnosis to funeral scares me. All of a sudden -- I don't want to die.

As I go to bed I think, Perhaps I could cuddle up to Deb, cry a bit, get some sympathy. That would help. Help me, anyway. I do the cuddle bit and skip the rest. The cuddle does help :-)

A couple of hours later I wake up again. I think, I need to go to the toilet but I don't want to get up to go to the toilet... Nothing I can do about it... I get up to go to the toilet. Now everything is back in perspective: it's going to happen, can't be helped, do it / accept it.

Phew! another emotional crisis averted :-)

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Meanwhile: Deb & I are on holiday. Staying near the beach at Myalup. We spend the time sitting round, sleeping, driving, seeing the sights, finding geocaches. All very pleasant. Dinners have been "locally sourced".

First night: fish & chips from the nearby shop. Average chips but delicious fish! Second night, I try the takeaway curry. Phew! good stuff! Third night we lash out, buy a heat & eat pizza. It's heated before we realise that the pizza is still sitting on a circle of cardboard. Oh well, tastes fine. And tonight, we may be back to the fish & chips.

Our holiday chalet is a couple of hundred metres from the beach. I like the beach... what I like is the wet sand, for digging & sandcastles. (Or sand *lumps* :-) What I can do without is the hot, dry sand, the wind, all that ocean of water. Perhaps I'm a "winter beach" person? We're staying by the beach, I avoid the beach...

Deb goes for a walk, I sit & read. I guess that Deb will end up walking along the beach... she does. I stay in the chalet, sitting, snoozing, reading. Just being a passenger -- while Deb drives -- has tired me out :-) I've also found that I am not much good as a passenger...

Deb drives, into the hills east of Harvey. As passenger, I navigate. We have decided to check out Logue Brook Dam. I have no idea where we should go.

I am interested in knowing where we are. Eventually I fire up the gps which shows our location on a map. Interesting! so that's where we are! And how do we get from here to the Dam? No idea... Not to worry... When we pass close to a geocache, I notice. We find a few beautiful locations because they are geocache sites.

Deb drives back to the highway. Finds a turnoff that points to Logue Brook Dam. We follow the signs... and find the dam. Easy :-) Just don't ask me to find it again.

Beautiful weather, good company. Beach for Deb, bush for both of us. An excellent break away from home :-)

====    Dr Nick Lethbridge
Flâneur / Consulting Dexitroboper
Agamedes Consulting / Problems? Solved.
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"Being funny is being awake to the absurdity of normalcy." … Bob Mankoff

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Now so much more than a simple holiday blog:  https://notdotdeaddotyet.blogspot.com.au :-)
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