still good

somewhere in the middle of my latest chemo, my hair fell out. no more hair to brush, all i have on my scalp is a sparse collection of very fine and short hair. hair on my arms looks to be less, though still enough to hurt when i pull off a sticky bandage.

further afield -- too far for me to notice -- my legs have the smooth, hairless, swimmers' look. pity i'm not a swimmer. and when i think to look -- i find that my pubic hair is now quite fine and sparse and pale.

my first surprise -- which should have been no surprise at all -- is that i don't need to shave. my face is a smooth as, well, as something very smooth. many weeks with no need to shave.

until i happen to glance in a mirror while wearing my glasses... oh dear, that looks untidy... odd areas of hair scattered round my face. too fine to feel, too fine to notice without my glasses, enough to look... messy. no way it could pass for a fashionable stubble.

so, i'm shaving again. once a week :-) i need to look in a mirror, wearing reading glasses, not just depend on feeling smooth. speaking of which: it feels as though there may be some returning bristles. perhaps my hair is planning to grow again?

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it's been several weeks since chemo finished -- and i'm feeling better every day. it's hard to believe how much the treatment knocks me around -- until the treatment ends. i'm still tired -- in part because i'm so unfit -- but less tired than i was. other than that -- and feeling as though i'm getting a cold -- i'm fine.

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last weekend deb and i -- and deb's sister -- go on a rogaine. it's a 24 hour rogaine, we stay for less than six hours. yes, it is planned that way :-)

we walk a bit over 17km, that's enough for me. i'm tired, i could have walked further but what we walk is far enough. i'm carrying a light pack (lunch, raincoats, water, not much else). i had worried about that but, no worries, it's comfortable, i barely notice the weight.

the sun is setting as we enjoy a rogaine meal, then we drive home. it's been a very pleasant day.

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over the next few days it's mostly non-physical activities. (even on wednesday -- when i should have gone for a walk -- i don't.) books to read, games to play, letters to write, holiday to plan...

yes, holiday to plan. and organise.

in january i bought tickets for the edinburgh tattoo, in edinburgh. with the intention of getting to the tattoo iff (that iff means, if and only if) my june scans are clear. and they are :-) so...

there's still a bit of ummming and ahhhing. do we really want to go to scotland? can i face up to travel, touristing, scottish "summer"? eventually, yes! so i book.

it's not easy! we prefer to travel at just-off-peak times, to avoid crowds. the tattoo tickets have limited the possible range of dates. we will travel at peak tourist time... accommodation availability and prices reflect this. oh well.

i shuffle dates, change locations, book places that look okay. i long ago abandoned the idea of an inn-to-inn walk of the west highland way... i'm too unfit to commit to a week of quite tough walking. so we'll stay in the same area and walk or drive, whatever feels good on the day.

our credit cards give us free travel insurance. when i enter my details the screen starts flashing red and sirens start sounding... well, something like that. i think the bad response is due to one of my answers, to the question, do you suffer from a terminal illness... oh well, we didn't really expect to get medical travel insurance :-)

doesn't matter. neither of my cancers is currently active, we don't expect any symptoms before the next scans. any other medical problems, we'll depend on the british nhs.

dates are fixed, last thing to book is air travel. back to that dependence on the british nhs... i book the direct perth to london flights. if anything does go wrong -- i want to avoid having to abandon the flights anywhere but in the uk.

but what could go wrong?!  i've not been on a plane since my skull was opened up... i have this vague worry that flying high could cause my brain to explode... or something. an irrational worry, but i'm a professional worrier :-)

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and in other non-cancer activities: i'm contacting a government agency with a grand scheme. i still have no idea where to find a low-price developer for a phone app. i'll be trying to publish a book, not my own. various schemes which show either: the mind is still active, or, the mind has completely lost touch with reality.

meanwhile, the kids seem to have realised that i'm not about to die immediately. no need to avoid plans which may be interrupted by dad suddenly dropping dead. (and if i do drop dead suddenly, well, that'll be the time to adjust plans.)

as for me, i'm embarrassed... after announcing my imminent death, i still turn up at rogaines, orienteering, family dinners. i'm embarrassed -- but very pleased :-)

so far, so good.

====    Dr Nick Lethbridge  /  Consulting Dexitroboper
Agamedes Consulting / Problems? Solved.
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"Be excellent to each other" … Bill & Ted
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dying for you to read my blog: notdotdeaddotyet.blogspot.com.au :-)
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