more good news

Today we visit the cancer doc to get the results of my MRI scan. To cut to the chase: good news :-) No sign of new brain cancer.

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My standard line is, The MRI scan found nothing...not sure where my brain is. Forget the jokes, it seems better to get straight to the good news :-) On the not so good, my current status is: Testicular cancer needs more treatment, brain cancer is not showing but brain cancer will eventually return. Return ? Not yet :-)

My word for the week: "terminal". My status so far: Not dead yet. And I'm beating the odds :-) That sounds good ! Time to do a bit more planning for a holiday...

Except that I will be spending several weeks getting chemotherapy for the visible cancer. Which means lots of nasty... possible... side-effects. Oh well.

Did you know that memory of pain is not as bad as the pain itself ? That -- I guess -- is why women are willing to have more that one child. For me, my memory of past side-effects is -- perhaps -- not as severe as the side-effects at the time. Soooo... I am not (for now) dreading the future side-effects.

Not looking forward to them, just believing that they will be... bearable. I could be wrong ! I'll find out.

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Does this all sound confusing ? I'm actually feeling a bit confused. Not looking forward to chemo, resigned to and accepting possible side-effects. Glad the brain cancer has not yet recurred, still worried about that one. Looking forward to a run on Sunday, annoyed that the chemo schedule has stopped me registering for the next rogaine.

My mood is confused. I suspect that my blog explanation is confused. I think -- looking into my own mind -- I can say, Confused but positive :-)

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I had a dream last night: I'm in a plane, a light aircraft, with Deb as the pilot. There is a strong headwind, the plane is travelling -- relative to the ground -- backwards. I am looking backwards, watching where Deb should be landing, directing Deb where to go.

Deb lands smoothly. I tell her, I wish *I* could fly again...

There could be a very simple explanation for this dream: I did have a pilot's licence (the equivalent of a learner's permit) and I do wish that I could fly again. After many years of not flying, what would have made me think of flying ? Is there more to this dream ?

With us in the plane was Deb's sister. She has joined us on several rogaines, we would invite her to join us on the next. Except that it seems likely that we -- I -- will not be ready for the next rogaine. (That was last night when the rogaine was doubtful. Today we have the chemo treatment schedule and the rogaine is definitely not on. Not on for us, due to me.)

Is flying a dream equivalent to a rogaine ? Wow ! I enjoy both... I would fly rather than rogaine... or would I ?!

I think my subconscious pulls out an activity that I would really enjoy. Adds Deb's sister to equate it to a rogaine. And presents it as disappointment that the chemotherapy schedule is preventing me from participation is an enjoyable activity. Dratted chemo, eh.

Alternatively, it's just another weird dream :-)

Deb landing so smoothly and safely, though, that shows the faith I have in Deb :-)

End of dream: Who are the two mature women waiting for us to land ? Is one really knitting while waiting for us ? Is that the way I see our fellow rogainers ? Hmmm...

Time to get to bed. To see what weird stuff I dream of, tonight.

Dr Nick Lethbridge / Consulting Dexitroboper

...        Agamedes Consulting / Problems ? Solved

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"Leaders are visionaries with a poorly developed sense of fear and no concept of the odds against them." … Robert Jarvik

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Dying for you to read my blog, at https://notdotdeaddotyet.blogspot.com.au/ :-)