5. why post?

have I finally reached tho pint which took me to the keyboard?

I woke up.

thought how easy it will be to die.

ignore the cancer doc. she has said nothing about what will kill me. so I ignore her.

there is cancer in my brain stem.

this will make me more tired, weaker.

till I am so tired, so weak, that I die.

already, in the last days and weeks, I have felt more tired. weaker.

all completely painless.

so far, I am following the the surgeon's expectations. 

perhaps the oncologist believes that I will suddenly collapse in screaming agony? if she can't be bothered saying so then

... I'll  stay with the painless possibility.

meanwhile ... over years...

... friends and strangers have all died of "my" GBM.

one pop star had debilitating headaches before he was even diagnosed with GBM. I have no real headaches.

one wrote a book, collapsed in tears, tried ridiculous alternative treatments, died anyway,

I just take whatever treatments I'm told to take.

millions of people die of all sorts of things. thousands die of GBM.

And I just carry on. take the chemo. unexpectedly shrink the tumour.

... and get angry because two experts can't agree on my diagnosis.

I'm comfortable. I'm happy. enjoying life as it comes... as it lasts.

I'm  hoping that friends, family... anyone else, reading this blog or not

... I hope that you a re all well.

and for some reason

... I feel the absolute need to document that thought.

keep well! you lot  :-)

http://notdotdeaddotyet.blogspot.com
dying for you to read it :-)
...ranting  http://my3rs.blogspot.com

brain fading, typing blind
if this email is nonsense, pls guess or ask
ndependent Consulting dexitroboper