strange times

the last few weeks have been quite odd. 

things happened which made a bit more, or less,  sense later.

I'll brain dump some high and low points:

from memory,  so accuracy is not guaranteed.

I spent some months having bevacizumad by IV once every three weeks. 

after the first dose the tumour shrank by about 20%

I think of that shrinkage as due to to power of positive thinking.

after that, the tumour continued to grow despite weekly IV.

no useful effect, so we cancelled further IV.

later,  deb tells me that we have also cancelled starting with a second drug, lomustine.

I know a lot about lomustine but cannot remember ever being told. I suspect that I was asleep when it was being discussed.

I did not hear any discussion of lomustine.

I sent an email telling the cancer doc that I am deaf.

it is possible that the ten pages that seem to be a blank drug schedule are the doc's attempt to give info to a deaf patient.

it worked well. I was able to yo to Wikipedia to read up on the drugs. and ask an expert whose voice I can hear.

the two drugs have similar effects:

very small chance that tumour growth may be slowed

small chance of a few months of extra life. some chance of nasty side-effects.

every day I feel weaker and wearier. this is just death by cancer. I don't notice any other side-effects. I'm sure I will live those few extra months, eventually :-)

so the drugs are having no  effects

life goes on and so do I, so far

I don't  regret getting off the drugs.

http://notdotdeaddotyet.blogspot.com
dying for you to read it :-)
...ranting  http://my3rs.blogspot.com

brain fading, typing blind
if this email is nonsense, pls guess or ask
ndependent Consulting dexitroboper