never rains but...

I'm still waiting to get the date for my next scan. I expect bad news (though I'm still hopeful) so I should be extra stressed. But I'm not :-)

It would be about two years since I told the dentist, Yah boo sucks take me off your automatic recall list. This Tuesday I'm at the dentist for my second annual check since then. Bad news that is good :-)

But worn extra bad news, I need a filling. I'll have it done when we get back from NZ.

Next day... a tooth snaps off. A canine. It was mostly crown and snapped off at the base. So today I'm back at the dentist. The tooth is now jagged, level with the gum -- and decayed. I'm given the choice: rip it out today ... or later.

It's a different dentist, we don't know each other. He asks, Before I get out the pliers, are there any medical conditions I should know about? Brain cancer, I say. Oh, he says and puts down the pliers. Looking, I must say, a bit dismayed.

It seems that some anti-cancer drugs cause slow bone healing. I didn't recognise the drug names he quoted but the dentist would not extract the tooth... just in case. So he did a "half root canal", scrapped out the core, packed it with something anti-infection and put a cap on it.

It'll last... a while. May start to ache... in weeks or months or years. For now it's effectively a gap in my teeth. No trouble at all, so far, after a hearty dinner :-)

I'm due back at the dentist for that other filling, in four weeks or so. I will probably get the full root canal treatment but leave it level with the gum. No need for a massive, long term fix :-)

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I've developed a tendency to blame everything on cancer treatment. (The cancer itself is almost benign, so far.)

My digestion was affected by chemo, it has recovered but is still... different. I'm unfit because of all the time when treatment left me with no time -- or no inclination -- to exercise. Any headache -- they are rare and very minor -- I worry that it's caused by a big tumour. Second bald patch, caused by radiation. Etc.

Fitness is improving. Health is good. (Except for, you know...) I still blame cancer and treatment... even where the more obvious cause is age.

So this tooth... was probably weakened by radiation. Probably nonsense but what if it's true? Will my other teeth start to crumble?!

That's the trouble with having one major disease: I blame it for every little problem. And worry that every little problem is a bad sign, that the cancer is getting worse.

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I should also mention that I'm getting by on four or five hours sleep for a lot of nights, spending many late nights attempting to write Kotlin code. (Definite signs that I am learning... slowly.) Even more tiring with a grandson staying over for one night. Great fun but tiring :-)

So I'm tired. Needing drill and fill on my teeth. Still confused by Kotlin.

Which has stopped me worrying about scan results. Still concerned. Still pessimistic (hoping to be wrong :-) but not worrying.

So it's a lot of bad news and I'm feeling fine :-)

Nick Lethbridge  /  consulting dexitroboper
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"I took out a loan to pay for an exorcism. If I don't pay it back, I'm going to get repossessed." … Olaf Falafel
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