Saturday, February 8, 2020

life's little ups and downs

Can't deny it, I'm feeling a bit gloomy.

First up, there's a big difference between six months and six weeks. There's not much time to ignore the next scan when the next scan is just six weeks away.

Aside but related: waiting to get an actual date for the next scan. I'm starting to think, Has the date been set? why have I not heard? I phone the company that will do the scan. Except that they won't.

I phone. The doctor who knows what's what is just back from holidays, that could explain the delay. But: No, we don't have the equipment for that specialist scan, I'm told. I'll speak to your doctor, I'm told. You'll need to go to Charlie's, I'm told.

Okay, no worries, I like Charlie's, the public hospital. I have good memories of previous visits. Okay, good but hazy memories, I spent a lot of time unconscious at Charlie's.

A few days later I call Charlie's. They know me but have no request for a scan.

I phone the cancer doc. Yes, the "doctor back from holidays" has been in touch. All is being arranged. Which is good.

It would be better -- when doctor talks to doctor -- if they remembered to pass a message to the patient.
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So I'm waiting on scans, a standard MRI plus another which will show better detail of the area of the blotch on my brain. The blotch may turn out to be "radiation necrosis", a patch of brain killed by the radiation treatment. That would be good news.

I don't really believe that it's necrosis.

The PET scan shows extra sugar takeup in that area, that's a sign of extra-active cells... ie a cancerous tumour. To me, the blotch is cancer. Dead brain is a nice thought but wishful thinking. I'll be glad to be proven wrong... but...

I was hoping for six months of business as usual. Instead, it's six weeks of stress. Oh well. Can't deny it, I'm feeling a bit gloomy.
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I think I've made the final arrangements for our holiday. It will happen after scan results and before any necessary treatment. Sounds good :-)

Except that our holiday is a walk in New Zealand. On a Track which has just been flooded, washed away, subjected to natural disaster. All walks cancelled for the next couple of weeks. Not sure if our own walk will be able to go ahead.
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On the other hand... my ability to code in Kotlin has gone from zero, all the way up to... miniscule. Which is far better than zero :-)



Nick Lethbridge  /  consulting dexitroboper
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"I took out a loan to pay for an exorcism. If I don't pay it back, I'm going to get repossessed." … Olaf Falafel
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2 comments:

  1. Mate I am hoping for and reckon necrosis. A terrible time for you while waiting. Thinking positive thoughts for you.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Fingers crossed for Necrosis... (which sounds really weird actually).

    ReplyDelete