all well but ... cold

Slowly getting just a bit more active... slowly :-)

When we go out for exercise, I jog. So slowly that it may as well be a fast walk :-) Or possibly a slooowww walk.

For a lot of the day I simply huddle under blankets, trying to keep warm. It's too cold to sit at the PC. Sheesh, winter :-(

Dr Nick Lethbridge / Consulting Dexitroboper

...        Agamedes Consulting / Problems ? Solved

===

Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere ... Chinese proverb

===

Dying for you to read my blog, at https://notdotdeaddotyet.blogspot.com/ :-)

really annoying

Some things are annoying. The soles of my feet -- under the toes and under the front of the feet... still "tingle". Hard to describe. Somewhere between a tingle and ... numb. Except that sometimes it gets very very itchy. And that is annoying. Till it stops itching.

Something that is *really* annoying, is my eyesight.

No, not the loss of peripheral vision. Just my eyesight which has faded due to age.

I definitely need reading glasses. My distance vision is at the limit where -- legally -- I should wear glasses for driving. Just walking round, I'm fine. Except...

Now that I can't see to my left -- I need to be more careful about what I can see.

I have to watch carefully. Watching all round... more alert to what I see -- and don't see.

And that awareness makes me more aware of my normal... remaining... eyesight. I'm more aware that what I see is less clear than I would like.

So I've started wearing my glasses -- the distance / driving / everyday glasses -- all the time.

So with no apologies to people who have always had to wear glasses: Wearing glasses is really, really ... annoying.

===

Loss of peripheral vision? I just have to deal with that. For example:

We rogained on the weekend. Just a very pleasant stroll in the bush. Less than four hours. 150 points. I was definitely the slow one in our team :-)

Slow. Careful. Watching to my left. And I still managed to walk ... three times into trees. I tell you, those trees leapt out at me!

But walking into a tree is not annoying. Okay, my teammates worried that I could walk left off a cliff. But trees? No, not annoying.

Quite funny, in fact :-) Because, well... I wasn't having a conversation with the trees... was I :-?

Dr Nick Lethbridge / Consulting Dexitroboper

...        Agamedes Consulting / Problems ? Solved

===

Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere ... Chinese proverb

===

Dying for you to read my blog, at https://notdotdeaddotyet.blogspot.com/ :-)

ups and downs

I've just sent a couple of emails to the app developer in NY. It seems promising, I may yet get an app developed :-)

Monday was a different feeling.

Trouble finding files on the PC. Trouble typing. Trouble getting my thoughts organised. Very tired. I was sick and tired of thinking about an app which -- as far as I can tell -- is wanted by no-one but me. Why do it?

Stuff it, I thought. I give up. I decide to do stuff all. Just eat, sleep, read books. Can't be bothered with apps -- or anything else -- which interest no-one.

That feeling lasted thirty minutes.

Today: I'm ready to go. As far as I can tell, there is still no-one who wants my app. Other than me :-)

But bugger it.

I want it.

So... onward... to app obscurity.

Why not :-?

Dr Nick Lethbridge / Consulting Dexitroboper

...        Agamedes Consulting / Problems ? Solved

===

Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere ... Chinese proverb

===

Dying for you to read my blog, at https://notdotdeaddotyet.blogspot.com/ :-)

very impressive

Well that is a very pleasant surprise :-)

A bill arrives from the hospital. It's the cost of my surgery. Total... $25,826.

Our health insurance fund has kicked in its share.

What I still owe: $34.58.

Seems like this is a year when our health insurance is worth paying :-)

Dr Nick Lethbridge / Consulting Dexitroboper

...        Agamedes Consulting / Problems ? Solved

===

Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere ... Chinese proverb

===

Dying for you to read my blog, at https://notdotdeaddotyet.blogspot.com/ :-)

navigation test

Sunday: Deb & I go to Jorgenson Park in Kalamunda. We are following an "Orienteering Anytime" map... to see if I can navigate.

The answer is, No. The map makes no sense to me. Mind you, it's several years since I've been comfortable following an O map.

So Deb follows the map, I follow Deb. Then we enjoy a picnic, it's a beautiful day :-)

Navigating the rogaine this coming weekend could be... interesting!

Dr Nick Lethbridge / Consulting Dexitroboper

...        Agamedes Consulting / Problems ? Solved

===

Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere ... Chinese proverb

===

Dying for you to read my blog, at https://notdotdeaddotyet.blogspot.com/ :-)

another good result

Thursday, we see the surgeon. So, we ask,what did you remove?

First, he admires his needlework. Nicely done and I'm healing well. Better yet -- turns out, these are dissolving stitches. I just wait... and they are removing themselves.

Then we look at pictures... my brain again, after the surgery.

Yes, that large rounded area is indeed, empty space. So what was removed? Analysis shows that it was nearly all -- scarring. Or, radiation necrosis. It took a very long time to appear, but... that's what it is. Or was.

To be specific: No new tumour. Which is excellent news :-)

Yes, there are cancer cells. Perhaps 2% of what was removed was cancer cells. There will always be cancer cells (the cancer is incurable). But no cells grown into a tumour. A tumour would have been "bad" news.

I'm back to where I've been for the last couple of years: cancerous but on hold. Back to enjoying life... between scans :-) Phew!

Should I take it easy? Avoid vigorous exercise for a few months? No... get running... Oh rats. Oh well... back in training for Cradle Mountain :-)

Time to arrange yet another MRI, says the surgeon. Leave that to the oncologist? I suggest. Good idea, agrees the surgeon, do it all through the one doc.

So we see the oncologist next week. Let her suggest the timing for the next scan. And treatment? That's up to the oncologist...

I'm betting that radiation will not be suggested :-) Not after removing all that radiation burn. Surgery? done. Chemo, already taken that to the limit. So... I hope... back to just waiting, scanning, enjoying life :-)

===

The surgery removed non-cancerous stuff. Was it worth it? Yes... just the scarring has permanently damaged my vision. Not cancerous but damaging -- and it could have been getting worse. Definitely better out than in.

Should I have had surgery even earlier? Perhaps removed the shadow as soon as it appeared? Possibly...

Remove the first shadow and... I would not have lost my peripheral vision? But I would have been thinking, There is no damage (yet) so why am I having surgery? And... perhaps the scarring would have continued to grow -- and cause damage -- even after being largely removed.

Urgent surgery may have been a good idea. But... there would still be doubt: doubt that it was even necessary.

So... see a shadow, cut it out, or... wait (as we did) for symptoms? There's no clear answer. It's a matter of judgement, probabilities, and luck.

I'm quite happy that we made all the right decisions. Quite happy because... well, it's now too late to change the past :-)

===

Going in to see the surgeon I'm quite certain that he has removed a tumour. But not at all worried. Better out than in. And yet... There's still great relief: just radiation necrosis! And now it's gone. Phew, indeed :-)

We celebrate with coffee and cake :-)

Dr Nick Lethbridge / Consulting Dexitroboper

...        Agamedes Consulting / Problems ? Solved

===

Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere ... Chinese proverb

===

Dying for you to read my blog, at https://notdotdeaddotyet.blogspot.com/ :-)

An Awfully Big Adventure

Today I set myself a challenge... to get to the shops and back. All by myself :-)

When I can't drive, I lose a lot of confidence. Along with the independence. Time to rebuild both !

Turns out... it's easy :-)

Uber is as easy as it should be. Just drop me at any entrance to the shops, I tell the driver. He points to the nearest entrance... just as well, I start in the right direction.

Then I just wander round inside. I only see half of what I look at. Doesn't matter. I only want one shop, a large one. Inside, first thing I see is exactly what I want...

Today is my birthday. As a Lord of the Rings fan -- I give presents on my own birthday. This year the presents will be even more hobbit-ish... Mathoms... Things which are absolutely useless. And there they are, just inside the shop :-) I have to ask, Where do I go to pay? With my half-vision, some things are too well hidden.

Pick up some gift wrapping paper. Ready to surprise :-) Shopping done!

May as well buy some lunch. I'm tempted by salad. Then I buy a muffin -- far less likely to end up off my plate and on the table. I think it was a good choice... It tasted fine... and I believe that I ate most of it... Couldn't see any leftovers on the table, anyway :-)

I find an exit from the shops. Doesn't matter which exit as long as there is a road. And I call an uber to get home again.

Phew! Success!

Dr Nick Lethbridge / Consulting Dexitroboper

...        Agamedes Consulting / Problems ? Solved

===

Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere ... Chinese proverb

===

Dying for you to read my blog, at https://notdotdeaddotyet.blogspot.com/ :-)

waiting, just waiting

Post surgery, all seems well. Just waiting on results... Results of "histo-pathology" that is. The surgeon removed a lump of "brain". What exactly was it? That's what the h-p determines. The analysis takes quite a while.

Why does it matter? Because it determines what happens next.

If it's dead brain -- radiation necrosis -- then we probably relax. But avoid more radiation treatment :-)

If it's tumour then, what sort of tumour? Okay, "GBM4" -- or can I move on to GBM5 now :-?  I do seem to remember (from years ago) that there are varieties of GBMs. Identify the exact variety -- then wonder what to do about it.

So, h-p analysis is important. We'll get the results in the next couple of weeks.

===

Our Deep-ENT said, He can try to find out but... it's still not ready. I said, Eh! doesn't matter...

We'll get the results from the surgeon... or from the oncologist... all in good time. Good *enough* time, anyway :-) A week or two makes no real difference, not to me, anyway.

I admit that I do like to get early results from "our" insider. But not if it adds to his stress levels.

So we're waiting. Sort of. I'm just not hanging on the edge of my seat.

===

Meanwhile... I do have a post-op picture of my brain. What's left of it! There is a very large, quite new, hole.

I look at the picture and... well... not sure what I'm seeing. There are dark areas, were they there before? They look like "normal" brain shapes.

But that rather laaaarrrggge... dark area? Quite an even shape. That can't be natural?!

How big is the new hole? As big as... well, of course... As big as a golf ball. Isn't it always :-) So I have a hollow space in my brain. A new space. The size of a golf ball. Wow!

Here's the good news: That space was previously dead brain or tumour. Either way, better out than in.

Even better news: As far as I can tell... The hole has no *new* effect. I still don't see anything to the left. (That's permanent.) But no new damage. Plus there's the positive expectation that -- tumour spreading is, again, delayed.

And that's all something to be glad about :-)

Dr Nick Lethbridge / Consulting Dexitroboper

...        Agamedes Consulting / Problems ? Solved

===

"When the going gets tough, the smart get going" ... per Ginger Meggs"

===

Dying for you to read my blog, at https://notdotdeaddotyet.blogspot.com/ :-)

Bush picnic

Public holiday today so Deb decided we should go for a picnic. To Nokine Rock.

Deb drives. I'm grumpy. I really miss driving (-:

Spell checker doesn't like Nokine. Takes a while for Google maps to find it. Still... Once found, maps leads us there, no worries.

The Rock itself is crowded, two cars already there. We Are here for the isolation so we drive a bit further.

It's a beautiful day for a picnic. In the middle of absolutely nowhere. Just what we are looking for.

Then we are ready to drive home. We Turn on Google maps. It Tells us, no signal you are lost. Useless pile of rubbish.

Luckily we have a real gps device. Is maps are a bit old but it gets us back to the nearest road. All good. Narrow rough tracks. I drive :-)

Back to a real road. Deb takes over the driving. Still an hour to get home but it's easy driving.

I'm tired but it was a great day. We both enjoyed it. Still enjoying :-)

Nick Lethbridge    /    Consulting Dexitroboper
Agamedes Consulting    /   Problems? Solved.
   ===

The more things change, the more they stay insane ... per Ginger Meggs
   

Out and About

Deb takes me out to lunch :-) Various reasons, including an urge -- by Deb -- to find her way to the Casino parking. Yes, lunch at the Casino.

Well, we end up in the Food Hall.

The Food Hall seems to be three eatery chains, a very small Hall. A sign of the times, I guess. Not much call for a food hall, with no travel and occasional lockdowns.

Deb works out where we go, I follow. It's rather unsettling...

I remember the general layout of the Casino. As I walk in -- closely following Deb -- it's hard to know where to go. Because I look -- but it's not easy to "see".

I look round the room. Miss seeing whatever is to my left. I have to scan, side to side, to see the whole room. (Remember the Cylons from Battlestar Galactica :-?

First thing I see is the M for Macdonalds. Then I scan on and find the other two serving counters. Interesting... I never did see the Macs counter, probably near the M sign but, I never scanned it. See what I mean? I look -- but my left-side blind area may make me completely miss some things. Unless I think about it.

Definitely unsettling :-)

But definitely an enjoyable outing with Deb.

Dr Nick Lethbridge / Consulting Dexitroboper

...        Agamedes Consulting / Problems ? Solved

===

"When the going gets tough, the smart get going" ... per Ginger Meggs"

===

Dying for you to read my blog, at https://notdotdeaddotyet.blogspot.com/ :-)

Not Really Problems

Middle of the night, when I get up to go to the toilet, I don't turn on any lights. I know my way! But I move slowly -- dragging my feet rather than bumping from obstacle to obstacle. Very slow.

So I wake up to go to the toilet. By the time I get there -- I really, really need to go! Makes it all worthwhile, somehow :-)

===

I'm back on dex (dexamethasone, a brain-swelling-reducing steroid. It also builds my appetite and keeps me awake. Both of which are -- in my opinion-- benefits :-) It may also have reduced the tendency of my leg muscles to cramp.

===

Sunday I told the grandson, Sorry but today I'm just sleepy granddad. Today I walk to the shop. And back :-) No worries.

===

There was a suggestion: perhaps I should get a fall-detection device. I explained, to Deb, the faulty logic: I do not fall over. Well, once. That was three years ago. Now I am aware of the risk and am far far too cautious to fall. (Okay, so far.)

Just before surgery, the surgeon suggested I could try a walking stick. Deb mentions a walking stick. Again: no, I do not fall. Today -- walking a few km -- I think: If a walking stick could see to my left, good :-) Otherwise... Well... crashing to my left is a problem. I am extra careful, when I remember. And, so far so good.

But falling is not my problem. Yes, that's something to be glad about :-)

===

I'm re-reading Lord of the Rings. From start to end. Could be my 20th complete reading. Best. Book. Ever :-)

Elves have a problem with immortality: Live for a few Ages of the world and everything -- the mortal world -- changes. This is a regular theme in books I read:  Mortal and immortal get out of step. This is a problem in our "real" world.

I am already old enough to miss a lot of the world of my childhood.

But: Bring back the world of my childhood and the current generation would say, No! Heck, my *parents* would have said No! One person's ideal world is rubbish to other people. My own "ideal" world would probably be rubbish even to me :-) If I had to live in it again. So I live in "this" world. With a lot of Bah! Humbug!

Is there an ideal world? No. Not without change. Change as we live in it. And change as we die out of it. No, I'm not saying that I'm ready to die! But I accept that the world will continue -- with or without me. Perhaps I can improve something? Never too late to try... or, at least, to think about trying :-)

Maybe I should join Extinction Rebellion. A bunch of narrow-minded whackos. But at least they try.

===

Wow! So deeply philosophical!

Enough deep thought for today :-)

Dr Nick Lethbridge / Consulting Dexitroboper

...        Agamedes Consulting / Problems ? Solved

===

"When the going gets tough, the smart get going" ... per Ginger Meggs"

===

Dying for you to read my blog, at https://notdotdeaddotyet.blogspot.com/ :-)

Waking up?

Okay, I like to rest. If I'm sleepy, I sleep. All part of the healing process, I say. After a couple of days, Deb starts to worry. Even at my peak, I tell Deb, there is no way I can keep up with Deb's normal hyperactivity.

Still, even for me... sleeping and snoozing for 22 of 24 hours seems a bit extreme.

Deb contacts the surgeon. Put him (ie me) back on a low dose of dex. Keep that going till I next meet with the surgeon. That'll be in a bit less than two weeks.

Sounds fair. As far as I can tell, dex-dosage is suck-it-and-see. Adjust it till it has the desired effect. Sleeping all day is not "desired". A low dose will keep me awake.

If I'm awake all night, well, we can't cut those pills any smaller.

===

Deb goes to Cottesloe for a run. I like to walk while Deb runs, Today I can't even be bothered sitting in the car while Deb runs.

Definitely tooooo tired :-(

See how I feel tomorrow. With dex.

Dex -- it's a steroid -- seems to do all sorts of essential things. Plus some just-useful things. It's the only drug I'm on, so can't complain :-)

Let's see if I'm awake tomorrow.

Or even tonight -- When I really need to get back to the app developer in NY.

Nick Lethbridge    /    Consulting Dexitroboper
Agamedes Consulting    /   Problems? Solved.
   ===

The more things change, the more they stay insane ... per Ginger Meggs