going back a bit

It's a few days since my latest all-clear. Time to fill in some details... what few I can remember.

A correction: Whatever part of my brain I may have said had a tumour… the surgery was a "right parietal-occipital craniotomy". That's what it says on the scan results. I read a bit about that bit of brain, in Wikipedia.

Can't find the article now... but I do remember one function that was mentioned: navigation. So that's why I don't win at orienteering ! Not because I'm slow, just because the cancer affects my navigation. Hmmm... no... I don't think that's the excuse. I'm just slow.

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Before getting the scan results: Deb & I are, of course, nervous. I also have a strange feeling of... certainty. I think of it as superstitious learning (it's not): the previous scan was clear therefore this next scan will be clear. Not really learning. More self-delusion.

It sounds positive: "knowing" that this scan will be clear. I don't like it. The more positive I feel before the result -- the bigger the potential let-down. So I treat it like feeling nervous, I avoid the extremes and move towards calmer, only slightly nervous anticipation. With a mildly hopeful expectation.

The scan results -- are good :-) Both Deb & I are pleased. Not, however, over-the-moon. Why not ? I have another three months to live ! But I am still tied to a three-monthly cycle of scans. When one fails -- it's back to cancer treatment. It's back to the expectation of imminent death.

The scan results are excellent news. I still have cancer, still hidden.

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No worries :-) We carry on with a busy weekend. Toy library on Saturday morning. Orienteering in the afternoon. I do a short course, I have a trail run tomorrow.

Sunday, I'm up at 4:15am. I could have taken another half hour in bed but like to be early for an organised run. This one is at Yanchep, I'm there as the organisers are starting to give out the bibs, the chest numbers. An hour to wait till the start.

Another reason I like to be early: plenty of time to go to the toilet. Three times.

I claim that my digestive process is back to near-normal but this morning is ridiculous. Three lots of good quality poo in one early morning. My poo-processing goes in fits and starts: nothing for a day or two then a burst of action over a couple of hours. Normal pre-run nerves starts the process. As long as it is all clear before the run, I'm happy.

Yes, no problems during the run. Oh, okay, I do stop running... twice... to pee in the bushes. That's just normal.

The run is fun. Fourteen kilometres round the lake. Four hundred runners. I start near the end of the pack and end even further back. It's my slowest ever pace for a trail run. Not to worry... I'm back to my aim from my very first trail runs: the aim is to complete the course, time is irrelevant. And I do finish :-)

On the way home I buy a Christmas tree, a real tree. The tree farm is near Yanchep, I phone Deb to get the address, I use the GPS to guide me. The GPS tries to guide me on a 100km trek through the city... I reset it and try again. Much better.

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Post-scan. I may not be over-the-moon. But I am cheerful. It's a good weekend. Just one oddity:

After lunch, still in post-run recovery (which I stretch out all afternoon and evening). A sudden rush to the toilet, the sort of rush that will not be denied. This time it's not normal, it's closer to diarrhoea… but black. Very strange. Oh well, it passes (lol).

Now I'm awake for a couple of appointments this (Monday) morning. First, to the GP. I liike to see her after a scan, share the good (so far) news. And to talk with a doctor who is not all-cancer.

Cancer does not stop other medical issues. My non-cancer medical needs are minor. The GP froze off a wart that was annoying me. Today I will ask her to check my ears, they feel full of wax. Minor stuff. But the GP is a good listener.

Then to get my hair cut. It's grown out from the post-radiation shaved look, ready to be cut. I've been waiting... If the scan showed fresh cancer I planned for a clean shave, clear the scalp before radiation cleared it for me. With a clear scan -- I will be asking for a "proper" hair cut.

Breakfast, doctor, hair cut. Then a relaxing day... Deb is on holiday, so I can relax and watch her work in the garden :-)

====    Dr Nick Lethbridge  /  Consulting Dexitroboper
Agamedes Consulting / Problems? Solved.
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"Real people don't make very good politicians." … Ginger Meggs
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dying for you to read my blog: notdotdeaddotyet.blogspot.com.au :-)
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