it's not just me

I'm not the only one with stressotoxin build-up as the scan date approaches. Deb confessed to "a restless night" before my latest scan. After more than forty years marriage I can tell the difference between a restless night and lying awake in the middle of the night.

When I was first pronounced "sick" and was suffering under the necessary treatment, Deb had many sleepless nights. Now she is sleeping normally -- usually -- again. Worried but not letting it *over* stress her. That's good.

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I'm still waiting on the latest results. Not so much worried as ... restless. Can't settle to anything. Just picking away at a few things that I need to do. Reading, playing, reading, eating, playing. I'm in the middle of reading two books, the final Harry Potter and the non-Potter book by Rowling. Enjoying them both but... I read a few chapters, get restless, do something else. Get tired of other things, read another chapter or two... Restless, can't settle to any one thing.

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Yesterday: At the playground, watching the grandson. A mother notices my polo shirt and asks about the motto: "Enjoy Life, three months at a time". First time anyone has asked. What do I say ? The first bit is easy.

"I get my head scanned every three months. If I am clear of cancer then I can Enjoy Life for another three months. If the cancer is back..."

I hesitate for just a fraction. "If the cancer is back then I'm dead. Or dying. Or something..." Oh, drat, a rapid backtrack, that was a bit abrupt. I hope she is not too upset :-( What should I have said ? I should, at least, have prepared an answer in advance.

Next time -- if the question is asked a next time -- I shall try, "If the cancer is back then it's another round of treatment. Sigh :-( So, meanwhile, I have three months to Enjoy Life :-)" There, that sounds better...

Of course when the question was asked I was down to enjoying life for just three *days*. In just a few days I will be starting another three months in which to Enjoy Life. And that's something to be glad about...

Or not, as the case may be :-)

====    Dr Nick Lethbridge  /  Consulting Dexitroboper
Agamedes Consulting / Problems? Solved.
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"Real people don't make very good politicians." … Ginger Meggs
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dying for you to read my blog: notdotdeaddotyet.blogspot.com.au :-)
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