My cancer is going to kill me. Sooner rather than later. Most likely within months rather than years. So my entire (remaining) life is spent thinking about cancer, worrying about cancer, wondering if there is a better treatment for cancer...
Rubbish!
Today Deb (my wife) and I look after our grandson. We start with splashing in a public pool, with a swimming lesson in the middle. Deb and the boy splash (it's a toddlers' shallow pool). I sit outside the pool, watching. (I worry that my own fear of water would be spread to other swimmers, so I stay clear of beginners.)
There's the constant sight and sound of water splashing and children enjoying themselves. I just sit back and enjoy it all. Cancer does cross my mind as, Pfft! who cares, life is still good :-)
We spend the afternoon at home and in a nearby park. I am almost asleep, Deb does most of the toddler-watching work, I am involved occasionally. Again, it is great fun, very enjoyable. I think of cancer once or twice in terms of, Must remember to blog this enjoyable day.
I spend some time this evening reading articles on cancer, particularly on one form of treatment: Gamma knife surgery, a non-invasive alternative to standard open-the-skull surgery. An interesting option for when my tumour regrows. For now... just another thought for the future. Though a major improvement on acupuncture and herbal concoctions :-)
For now: Yes, I have cancer. Yes, it will kill me. Yes, it does spoil my day -- occasionally. Most days, I'm just tired. Not worried about imminent death by cancer... just tired.
And enjoying many good days of life.
Of course I do blame a lot of this unthinking enjoyment on Deb :-)
Dr Nick Lethbridge / Consulting Dexitroboper
... Agamedes Consulting / Problems ? Solved
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"Il est bon que le cœur soit naïf et que l'esprit ne le soit pas." … Anatole France
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I am sure you will have many more enjoyable days,weeks,months and years. Cheers Col
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