Current Status as at 6th August 2018

Current Status as at 6th August 2018

Far too long -- 1st May -- since my last status update !

Background:

I have brain cancer, GBM IV. It is an aggressive and terminal cancer. Two variables are when and where. I also have testicular cancer. Sooo… cancer of both body bits that do my thinking.

The testicular cancer was treated with surgery and radiation. Surgery to remove one ball, radiation to kill the cancer where it had spread into the rest of my body. This cancer is unlikely to recur.

The brain cancer appeared as a tumour, the tumour was removed by surgery then the tumour site dosed with radiation. Cancerous cells will still be floating round in the brain, waiting to grow into fresh tumours. Why still there ? Because the cancerous cells are microscopic, impossible to see. And because it's not safe to just hack or radiate more than the absolute minimum of brain. Chemotherapy -- swallowing regular doses of drugs -- tried to kill off the floating cancer cells.

Disease & treatment:

First symptom was in late August 2017 (starting at this blog post). This was quickly followed by brain surgery & ball tampering. Then radiation + chemo, then heavy chemo. Six months' of chemo is effective, any more has no real effect. ("Effective" is not a cure, it just delays the tumour regrowth.) Chemo stopped in June 2018. At that time, an MRI scan showed no signs of brain tumour -- good news :-) I will be scanned again in September.

When & where:

So the current question is, When will a new tumour be visible ? I'm on a schedule of brain scans every three months. (My motto: Enjoy Life, three months at a time.) And where will it grow ? Yes, right, in my brain... but which part of the brain ? The original tumour -- in my opinion -- was in a very convenient spot: easy to remove, only one major effect (see that first blog post). The risk (as I understand it) is that the next tumour could grow where it cannot easily be removed and where it severely damages the operation on my brain.

Oh, yes, testicular cancer: Treatment so far is expected to have been extremely effective. If it does come back, it can easily be dealt with. So it is trivial... relatively speaking. Sorry, right nut, you gave your all and are sadly missed but... unfortunate but not terminal.

Current physical status:

Good. I have lost fitness but I'm back into running. (Why bother ? Why not ! ) As far as I can tell, the cancer has had only two direct & noticeable effects: the initial collapse during a fun run, and a tendency to numbness on the soles of my feet. (That numbness is a stated side-effect of the chemo drug.) Oh, and a bald patch -- now a thin patch -- of hair where the radiation went in.

Mental status:

As far as I can tell, my mind is as sharp -- and as blunt -- as ever. There's a lot of stuff I need to do, to leave tidy when I die. I pick away at the list, slowly. No rush... yet :-)

Emotional status:

Not the best. I have regular feelings of fear and disbelief. Minor stuff. I tell myself that there's nothing I can do and I'm good at doing nothing so it's no use worrying. Still, I do a bit of tooth grinding at night. And regularly wake up tense. (Tonight I was dozing for several hours. Every so often I would wake up and feel unable to relax. Then sleep, then wake again and feel unable to relax...) This blog allows me to stop thinking and rethinking. This status post will get a lot off my mind, I should then sleep more soundly.

Cause of these effects:

All of the above is due -- I believe -- to cancer. To the disease, its treatment, its incurable & terminal nature. On top of that there are a whole lot of things which are either just me -- or the effects of getting older. If the cancer doesn't do something interesting I may extend the theme to, the process of growing old. Still no need to change the blog name :-)

So that is my current status: stable, feeling fine, undertones of worry.

So far, so good :-)