We're driving to the park, ready for a training run. Deb asks, Have you considered writing your own eulogy ? Yuk ! I reply, No thanks !
What would I say ? What *could* I say ?
I could praise myself. Why bother ? Either you already know and believe, or you think, Who's he kidding. I could admit to my faults, apologise to all those I have wronged ? A bit late for that if I'm already dead. Anyway, I don't have any faults :-)
The conversation turns to funerals. Do I have any after-the-last-minute requests ? No, definitely not. Funerals are for the living, the survivors. Whatever you want, go for it. Sure I'll be there -- the guest of honour -- but only in body. The mind will be gone and I don't expect that a spirit will be hanging round for the final festivities. So do what you like: as much or as little as you like.
I've been to a couple of funerals with singing and story-telling and crying. And laughing and dancing. All very nice for the living, for the nearest and dearest, that's their style. For me, it was a touch embarrassing.
Perhaps a moment for silent contemplation. If there must be music... a bit of Queen blasting down the aisles. Followed by Meatloaf, perhaps as I'm lowered down to fry :-) But it's whatever *you* like, I won't be there to be critical.
If I am there -- I won't be critical. Just surprised and a little bit pleased to be proven wrong on my view of the finality of death. Look for me in the mysterious fog which is sure to drift in. I'll be the wraith doing my favourite nose-picking pretence.
Having dissed all attempts for me to have an opinion on my own funeral, we go for a run. Coming back I tell Deb, Well, how about some final words ?
If anyone asks, tell them I said, "If only you'd asked me, I would have given you the correct answer." To what ? To anything. Anything at all.
Anything else, I've already said it. Or written it. Or considered it and decided that it is not worth saying.
But, of course, it's my funeral. So organisers can do whatever they like. I won't mind :-)
Dr Nick Lethbridge / Consulting Dexitroboper
... Agamedes Consulting / Problems ? Solved
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"If money won't make you happy, you won't like poverty either." … Ginger Meggs
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Yep I agree.
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