coping

I claim to be coping, or accepting, or possibly denying problems due to imminent death by cancer. 

coping strategies involve both laughing and swearing. 

I notice a trail of dried spilt breakfast stuck on my shirt. 

I laugh. 

another cup of tea gets cold because I lack the energy to

sit forward to pick it up to drink. I drink it cold and laugh. or try but fail to sit up and swear. 

I put something down then laugh or swear when I can't see it again. 

lots of research finds that swearing is an effective aid to concentration. 

deb does not like my swearing. 

I ask her what else I could do to indicate that I am making an effort to cope.

perhaps I could mutter,  iI'm feeling unsteady but it's okay, I'll just grip this wall a bit firmer..... or smile and pretend I don't care. 

hours later I wake up and realise that I will laugh... or swear... depending on how I feel at the time. 

Because I never lie.

not just this blog, which is as honest and complete as I can make it. 

but in life.  I cannot lie. 

not that I do not.  I can not.

I can misdirect with carefully poor phrasing.But I cannot deliberately lie.

when I swear it is because wearing is my honest reaction. anything else would be a lie. 

so... there will be swearing. 

If all else fails -- get a bigger hammer


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http://notdotdeaddotyet.blogspot.com
dying for you to read it :-)

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Dr Nick Lethbridge
Consulting Dexitroboper