You may think that I am handling cancer very well. Positive attitude, good humour, acceptance of the inevitable. Even I am pleased, so far.
==> Warning: If you read the rest of this post you will find that I am not... quite... perfect.
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I am constipated. And I hate it :-( I'm not sure if I have constipation by any standard definition. Mine seems to be a locking of the bowel at the final sphincter.
Have you ever been walking a dog and he suddenly stops, squats, strains and shits... Then moves on. The squatting & straining is a physical reflex, a built-in response to pressure on the final anal sphincter.
How do I know?
Occasionally our dog would get his lead tangled around his legs. Stuck between his back legs. Running up, next to his tail... across that anal sphincter. And the dog would stop, squat and strain -- but not shit.
Because there was no shit! The dog's lead was touching the anus. Touching -- from the outside -- the same nerves which set off the squat & shit reflex. So the dog would squat & strain... for no shit reason.
That's the way that I feel now.
It feels as though there is shit inside my bum. Just inside, wanting to get out. I sit on the toilet (my "squat"). I strain (gently, because I am not a dog). And there is no shit. No shit.
And yet... there is still the *feeling* that I need to shit. Like the dog, I will squat and strain forever -- with no relief, no end to the straining... Except that I am human, not dog. I can't move a dog lead away from the area. Instead, I attempt to relax, to stop straining... to let the... whatever it is... stop setting off my open-that-sphincter reflex.
A sudden rush to the toilet... fearing a shit explosion. Twenty bloody minutes wasted, straining. (Not actually "bloody" but alternative words have been rejected.) Swearing, angry, frustrated.
Back to breakfast... blog... whatever. Until the next episode of... shit hits the sphincter.
What a bloody waste of time. What a bloody uncomfortable waste of time. And -- from just three or four past experiences -- what a bloody uncomfortable and stinging few days I will have, when this is all finally... passed.
The previous post mentioned decreased urine flow rate. Leading, perhaps, to a burst bladder? Who bloody cares!
This "constipation" -- or whatever it is -- is the worst. possible. side-effect. So far.
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"Side-effect"? Well, perhaps. It may just be the summer constipation season. Who bloody cares :-( It is bloody awful.
Closer to breakfast and Deb appears. I let her know that good humour is out of the question. I spend another twenty fruitless minutes in the toilet. Ask Deb to get me some sort of suppository.
Deb searches the suburbs for a chemist shop which is open this early on a Sunday. Returns with "glycerol suppositories". Glycerol? I'll take anything!
You want to guess the one thing which will happily slide out of my locked-up anal sphincter? Yes, a glycerol suppository. Sigh...
Not to worry, now it's in. With another eleven ready to follow, just in case. I feel better already :-)
Just assume, for now, that I will soon be passing shit in a more normal fashion. I will then be ready to consider reduced urine flow, to watch and hope that it simply gets back to a more normal rate of flow.
Till then: I feel lousy. I feel angry. I feel better for having blogged.
And that is the worst side-effect of cancer. So far. As far as I can remember :-)
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Dr Nick Lethbridge / Consulting Dexitroboper
Agamedes Consulting / Problems ? Solved
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Agamedes Consulting / Problems ? Solved
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"A lot of people cry when they chop onions. The trick is to not form an emotional bond." … Jimmy Carr
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Now much more than a clever name for a holiday journal:
And... Clear :-)
ReplyDeleteAnalysis (embarrassing, of course):
I had a couple of days being out of the house. To West Perth by myself, various places with Deb. While out -- not always next to a toilet -- I would have reduced my drinking... and clagged up inside.
Back home, drinking as usual but... The clagged up bowel would have made me feel the need to go to the toilet -- before the bladder really demanded it. So, lower rate of urine flow. With no poo. Leading to even more clagged up poo... all the way back.
Glycerine (amazing! so simple!) freed up the poo where it could be reached, near the exit. Finally, action! But still more -- clagged up -- poo is left, further back in the passage. Now able to creep forward but too hard to exit. Lots of drinking is -- I hope -- ensuring that "fresh" (ie now being created) poo will be smooth flowing... but it is still stuck behind yesterday's clag.
Another glycerine... more movement... a bit more pee.
The "boulder" blocking the sphincter is clear... The "solid clay" queued up behind is going or gone... Another suppository -- and plenty of drinking -- will help.
I certainly feel a lot better :-) And what follows -- in its own good time -- should be "normal".
AAaaaahhhh... what a relief :-)