Sunday, October 22, 2017

what do you mean, it's not all Me! Me! Me!?!

There are various support groups for cancer. Support groups for every disease under the sun, possibly! A lot of the support is the opportunity to talk to other people who are in a similar situation.

I've had an offer or two to have a chat with cancer sufferers. I've declined. Not really interested. Now that I'm thinking about it, my lack of interest is in large part due to lack of relevance. To get my interest a fellow cancer patient would need:

... To have GBM, same as me. Without that chance of a sudden terminal situation I don't see the relevance.
... To be cheerful enough that we can enjoy an exchange of ideas. Readers Digest once claimed that, "Misery loves company -- as long as the company is also miserable." Vice versa, I'd prefer to talk with a cheerful person :-)
... As I understand it the major remaining unknown is, How will I actually die? So I would definitely be interested in discussing that particular experience. Which requires a chat with a dead person.

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On the other hand...

Deb is still alive. When I am dead Deb will still be alive. (She had better be!) The actual cause of *my* death is largely irrelevant. The key factor is that Deb has to hang around while I have all the fun...

So Deb will get in touch with a support group. Probably the Cancer Council. To line up chats? meetings? support groups? whatever... with people whose partners have terminal cancer. Or similar.

I can just imagine... :-)  Well, no, I just can't imagine what such groups would talk about. Which is one reason why I think it's an excellent idea.

Deb & I have our three-year-plus-a-bit planning horizon. I can accept that I'm not going to reach that horizon. (Especially since it is always that same three-years-plus ahead of "today"!) When I fall out of the plan -- I'm no longer worried.

Deb, however, has to plan further ahead. While putting up with me and my current ... status & situation. Deb copes, brilliantly. She still worries. I'm still cheerful... but what if I'm not? And when I'm dead, what then for Deb?!

So Deb will contact the Cancer Council. Meet & chat with people whose partners are dying. Get advice and, I guess, comfort. (Knowing Deb she will probably give at least as much comfort as she receives.)

I hope it helps.

I'm sure it will :-)

It's certainly worth doing.



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Dr Nick Lethbridge / Consulting Dexitroboper
Agamedes Consulting / Problems ? Solved
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"No one said they wanted faster horses, they wanted less horseshit." … no, not said by Henry Ford

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Now much more than a clever name for a holiday journal:



1 comment:

  1. Inclined to agree. They are good for those who need them.

    Cheers Col


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