Before this round of chemo began, I had my hair cut. Very short. As short as possible with a pair of hairdresser's clippers. It's now a bit longer, a centimetre or so.
It is, however, a bit patchy. Deb says so, she says it looks embarrassing, I may need to wear a hat. I can't see it myself. Okay, I can see my hair in a mirror but I don't often notice it.
Tonight I rub my scalp -- and shed more hair than the cat. A side-effect -- other than tiredness -- at last... I am losing my hair. Hair today, gone tomorrow :-)
Forget the hat -- there will soon be nothing to hide.
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Friday: It's a full day of minding the grandson, with a swimming lesson in the middle. I'm tired, I let Deb head off by herself. At home, I sleep, snack, snooze, read (which is like snoozing for me) and snooze some more. Then I join Deb and grandson at the swimming pool.
I'm still tired. After the lesson I "let" Deb do the splashing in the pool for an hour. Then we spend the afternoon at home. I do some low level grandson entertainment but Deb does most. As usual. At least I'm awake, mostly :-)
Time to deliver the toddler to his own home... and I let Deb take him, while I stay at home. This is not just me being tired.
I escaped this week's IV because my white cell count was so low. This means that I had no white blood cells to fight diseases. And the grandson has a runny nose.
Has my white cell level recovered? Is there any way to tell? Deb says, No, not without a blood test. So I don't want to travel in a car with a snotty boy... Silly choice? I don't know. I do enjoy those trips with Deb & the boy. I'm sorry I missed this one. I'm still glad that I did.
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Late that night I wake up for the usual reason, to go to the toilet. I walk from the bed to the bathroom, just outside the toilet door. I'm half asleep... it's a learnt knack: if I don't fully wake up, it will be easy to get back to sleep.
Someone else is in the toilet. It's dark, but I can … hear sounds. My analytical mind is working. It must be Deb, I think. I should say something, I think.
What I am not able to do... is say something. I can think the thoughts. I just can't wake my mind enough to voice the words. I go back to the bed and wait, till Deb comes back to bed.
Lesson learnt: I like to pat Deb when I return to bed. In future I will pat Deb as I am getting out of bed. Just to be sure that she is actually in bed. It's either that, or wake up enough to be able to say, Is that you ?
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Another dream: Deb is outside the bedroom, she leans in and says, It's Mum...
What does she mean? *Who* does she mean?
When I was growing up, we (brothers, sister, me) called our parents Sophie and Slicer. Because that was their names. Well, okay, I was an adult before I realised that Slicer is an unusual name. Though I already knew that it was nickname from his childhood.
When we had our own children, my parents became Granma Sophie and Grandad Slicer to the grandchildren. All very simple. Deb's parents were Nanna and Granpop. Or Mum and Dad to Deb. Deb was either Deb or Mum, I was Nick or Dad. A little less simple.
We have two sons. They are married, we now also have two daughters. I'm a Jane Austen fan, I think of our sons' wives as being, now, our daughters. To our daughters we are Deb and Nick though I sign emails as Dad because I may be emailing both sons and daughters.
Now I am Grandad, Deb is Nanna... or Dad and Mum... or Nick and Deb... depending on who we are talking to. To keep it simple I refer to Deb's Mum as Nanna-one. (Nanna? or Nana? I forget.) And when speaking to our grandson we refer to his parents, our son and daughter, as Dad and Mum.
When Deb leans in the door and says, It's Mum... who does she mean? In the dream it's obvious, she means, Deb. Though even in the dream I find that that is confusing: Deb saying, It's Mum, when she means herself.
Anyway, there is a hint in what Deb says -- a hint of dream understanding -- which implies that whatever Deb means, Mum/Deb needs me for something.
I instantly wake up and sit up in bed.
Deb has that effect on me. If she needs me, I hope that I will be there.
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btw: I have a simple means of dealing with all the confusion of names within the family. I have never been able to remember people's names. With two sons I sometimes get confused.
I just avoid using names. Simple.
Dr Nick Lethbridge / Consulting Dexitroboper
... Agamedes Consulting / Problems ? Solved
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"Leaders are visionaries with a poorly developed sense of fear and no concept of the odds against them." … Robert Jarvik
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My youngest grandson calls me Didi
ReplyDeleteDon't know where he got it from but I now encourage it.