The surgeon is keen to let us know, whatever he does inside my brain -- it will not fix my vision. We don't expect it to. We wonder why he is so keen to tell us.
Suddenly it is all clear...
The explanation comes to me in the toilet. That's where I get a lot of my best ideas. The explanation is in what he intends to do in my head.
First the craniotomy. Then the resection. The resected(?) brain will then be analysed to see what it is. Necrosis or tumour.
I understood this to mean that he will resection, analyse, then decide whether or not a tumour needs to be surgically removed. Wrong...
Here's my new understanding:
While my head is open the surgeon will remove -- okay -- resection -- as much of the suspicious area as possible. All that stuff which shows on the MRI as being, "not nice brain". It will all -- or as much as possible -- come out. End of surgery.
What comes out will be analysed. What it is will guide any next steps: radiation, chemo, mystic herbs and unguents? Knowing what is there now will allow the cancer experts to decide what to do next.
But "all" of the suspicious-on-the-MRI stuff will be gone. Necrosis or tumour, gone. No more (till it grows again), no more need for surgery. That's something to glad about :-)
===
So why will this not fix my vision?
I have a diagram of a brain showing the various locations where damage will affect vision. It's the visual area, with spots labelled as A, B, C and so on. By a fortunate chance my homonymous hemianopia (I had to look that up again) is caused by damage to the G-Spot. Woohoo! I never realised I even could have a G-spot ... rofl and :-) Anyway.
There is damage in my brain. Either necrosis or tumour. Let's dilute the optimism and, for simplicity, call it tumour. (See how many words it takes me to get to simplicity :-)
There is a tumour in my brain. It has caused swelling. That swelling has played on my G-Spot (ha:-) causing problems with my vision.
A week of dex has reduced the swelling. Therefore my vision has improved. But:
The tumour itself has damaged the G-Spot. Remove the tumour -- and that tumour-caused damage is still there. Nothing will fix that damage. (The brain does not (I think?) grow back. That damage is permanent, it will always affect my vision.
The tumour could grow. It will regrow. If it grows in the same area it will cause more damage. More loss of left peripheral vision. If it grows into a different area it will cause different damage, different symptoms.
The existing damage -- the existing "improved" loss of vision -- is permanent. Surgery will not fix it. Neither will radiation nor chemo (nor marijuana!).
The surgery is not a cure (I knew that). It's not even a fix, that is what the surgeon wants to make clear. Surgery is just another delaying tactic.
Now I think it's clear.
===
A delaying tactic. When the tumour grows back it could be anywhere. Most likely is, it will return close by, or at a point which is physically connected to the current tumour. (The cancer cells will drift like seeds through the physical passages in my brain.)
So the next tumour is likely to be nearby. In the vision-processing areas of my brain. As long as my tumours are slow-growing and in the visual area -- and as long as I don't start driving again -- the next tumour is unlikely to be immediately fatal.
And that is something to be glad about :-)
===
I had to rewrite that entire last paragraph. Just so that it lead naturally to the glad line. I'm still a Pollyanna :-)
===
The brain does not regrow. One part of the brain may take on the role of another, damaged part. That would be nice :-)
Failing automatic brain reprogramming, I adapt. I try to be more conscious of what is around me. I carefully watch to my left. And I constantly turn my head from left to right, watching, back, left again... And I remind myself to be very careful crossing roads.
When natural selection is too slow, try conscious adaptation.
===
"The proper study of mankind is man." I practise that.
There is always one person available to be closely studied: me. I do that.
And now I have an unusual case to study. My own special case, with insights which are available only to me. I blog to make me feel better. I blog to clarify, for myself, what is happening.
I'm not really glad that it's happening. But it really is a fascinating experience. With me at the very centre. Taking full advantage of the opportunity. With no need to limit my fast-growing word count :-)
Dr Nick Lethbridge / Consulting Dexitroboper
... Agamedes Consulting / Problems ? Solved
==="No matter how much you push the envelope, it will still be stationery"
Dying for you to read my blog, at https://notdotdeaddotyet.blogspot.com/ :-)
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