Thursday is our day for the weekly shopping.
Do I dare even leave the house?
I take it all step by step.
At first I think... I'll sit at home all day. Let deb go out and do all the shopping. Let's pretend that this is stage one, prove to Deb that I can be safely left alone at home for a few hours. Give deb at least the freedom to get back to real life.
Deb goes for a morning run.
By the time she returns, I have decided that I can at least go with her to the first shop. I can always decide to stay in the car. Or sit and wait outside the shop.
See? Small easy steps, each with the option of avoiding the next.
Meanwhile, I emailed Daphne the oncologist. Asking, if I move around -- am I likely to aggravate my tumour? I'm less worried about the swelling, it's a side effect, though dangerous. I do not want to increase blood flow -- and set off a nasty reaction from the tumour.
I really am analytical. Worried. Planning. Worried -- but not in a panic... not unless advised to panic.
Luckily Thursday is daphne's day to work. Her reply comes before we set off for the shop. Yes, she even recommends... that I try a bit of *Gentle* exercise. With Deb, with the zimmer.
We drive to the grocer's.
Deb fetches a shopping trolley, as a zimmer-substitute.
The zimmer is for balance not support. I can balance on the trolley. Or on deb, if necessary.
It's all very cautious. Carefully considered in advance. One very small advance at a time.
It all works.
Deb shops, I follow with, pushing, balanced on, the trolley. Deb does everything else.
It is, as deb comments... quite the little adventure for me:-)
And it is such a great pleasure to be -- even in such a limited fashion -- outside the house.
Even, briefly -- outside in the fresh air (of the shop's car park.
Freedom!
Then home again. For deb to put away the groceries. And for me to sit, and sleep... after the excitement of my morning.
I'm not exhausted but, yes... it was difficult.
Well worth it.
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