Shift in attitude

Here's the thing: I am now facing real death.

For seven years it has been *definite* death. My GBM4 is said to be terminal, aggressive, incurable.

Still, easy enough to deny, ignore or cope with.

With no deadline, just past records which give life expectancy from 18 months to, perhaps five years.

After five years, well... I've been laughing. Very easy to ignore ( though not forget) reality.

Anyway, once I passed 70 years old I felt, that's a good lifetime of years :-)

And suddenly, my life is measured in... still uncertain! but a lot less.

Because the cancer is now very active. And it is active in an area of brain which *will* kill me.

Very hard to ignore.

Remember those "death doulas"? They have *never* ever faced their own, definite death. How could they possibly know what it is like?

Well, I now know what it is like.

[End of rant]

A bit scary but, not so bad. Worse than the last years, yes but, well...

And of the actual moment of death... I still know nothing. Because I have not yet been there.

I hope to add a bit of understanding, if I'm able.

But I'm not going to charge money for services for which  I have as little real understanding as anyone else.

Now... end of rant, really :-)

half blind. half deaf. dying of cancer.
so what?
notdotdeaddotyet.blogspot.com :-)