How do I feel? Rotten

the last few scans show that my brain is growing a new tumour. This is bad.

At first I thought, so cut it out. The more professional opinion is, brain surgery is serious and dangerous. To be used as a last resort -- and only when it begins to affect me. Since then I watch out for "symptoms". Such as falling over. The brain is complex, the tumour is random, no one can predict the symptoms. But headaches are always mentioned.

The cancer doc mentions "stroke", the tumour is on the right so may lose function on the left. This is briliant, mow I regularlyraise both fists in the air, check that bothers rise to the same height. This is the standard stroke test. Easy and, so far it's good.

Butheadaches... I've had a headache, mild, for 2 or 3 weeks

I tell myself that cold weather always gives me a headache, reading, I read a lot, gives an  headache.

All good excuses but I'm still scared.

Sk how am i?

Physical: much as ever but... very versatile tired.

One day we look after the grandkids. I'd enjoy it but can't face a day of non stop fun. I leave it to deb. Poor deb is exhausted.

I sleep, on and off, for several days and feel better but still tired.

Today I rest again, all day. I still have a mild headache.

 Tomorrow I should run again.

So that's physical. Lousy ;-(

Mental: okay, I think, I read, I do crosswords.

Emotional: I'm shit. Miserable, with fits of temper.

Deb calms me, puts up with me. But I upset deb and deb being upset makes me even more miserable.

Not a good week or two.

On the other hand... right now im feeling more cheerful. Lots of rest and sleep and a few things going right. I plan to be cheerful by tomorrow. Still pessimistic but, cheerful.