Sunday night. I'm up late. Mostly doing a brain dump for future financial management, so Deb has nothing to worry about. Key point is: get someone else to do as much as possible! So I'm documenting as much as possible of what I know will need to be done.
About 1:30am Deb wakes up, checks that I am still conscious, goes back to bed. Ten minutes later and I'm am also in bed.
(I have told Deb that if I am restless and go downstairs to... whatever... I will leave the stair light on. So that she knows that I was conscious at least while I was going downstairs :-) But I did not even get upstairs, so did not go downstairs again, so the light is not on... I need to re-think these signals...)
About 3:30 am I'm awake again... via the usual waking-up dream. I keep the dream fresh in my memory, go downstairs (leaving the light on!) and take notes. This is what I typed:
====> late night notes from here...
There are plenty of reasons why a person would want to open their eyes in the airs above the X mountains. There are plenty of reasons why a person would want to leave their eyes tightly closed. Two of these reasons are, the views from above those same mountains.
Opening line of a story in which -- as a proof of ability etc -- a young person is climbing a rope to a dirigible which is floating high above those mountains. The dirigible is the mobile work platform for this person -- if they can prove that they are able to get there now, at all.
For some reason this person has one injured hand. Is young, mid teen. And may be a young woman/girl. Definitely an initiation test for the coming adult job/life.
Of course she will get there. She has no fear of the height, just physical challenge (for the climb, especially) due to the (recently acquired) hand injury.
... night notes to here <====
Hah! Caught *that* dream! So now for some deep (pseudo) analysis...
The mountains are clearly from talking earlier with Brian. He had his own lack-of-awareness experience in the French Alps: admiring the magnificent mountain scenery... again and again and again. Eyes open because the scenery is magnificent. Eyes closed because the height can be scary. I'm certainly scared of heights.
Trainee fiction writers like to pass the opening lines of their stories to others. To see if those opening lines capture the readers attention, enough to make the reader want to to read more. I call it Short Story 101 (the first 101 words). I may work the dream into ans SS101... though I have no idea where it would go from there.
The rope plus the injured hand is my current challenge. Last month I could easily have climbed that rope. Now I have an unexpected difficulty. Other people may wonder how far I will get. I have no feelings of impending failure... Though I also have no feelings that I will actually reach that dirigible! It's now more journey than destination. That's from memory. Kept fresh by the notes that I took at the time.)
That "unexpected difficulty" seems to be the only part of the dream which reflects my actual, current "unexpected difficulty". The rest is the mind settling itself down, sorting itself out, plus window dressing.
The dirigible will be the base for all of my future work... effort... life. If (no, when) I reach it. Apparently I have plenty -- a whole dirigible load of stuff -- left to do! Though (now that I'm awake) I guess that the "plenty" may be different to my expectations of a month ago. I have the distinct feeling that I want... I expect... but I do not detect a *demand* to get there. Give it a fair go -- but not to the point of stress ?
I am young, mid-teen! Okay, that's just standard denial of fact... Plus, all "initiation test for adult life" stories should be about a "young" person.
I am -- perhaps -- female?! The main indication is a pony-tail blowing freely in the wind. That pony-tail is high risk: it should be tucked away before it can get caught up in my climbing rope! Online game players like to play as female characters because the game character is "easy to watch". Apart from that... I attempt no explanation for dreaming as, possibly, a female.
Overall, I claim:
My mind is telling me -- via a dream -- that yes, I am injured. That I may never reach my earlier level of very unclear goals. But there are still goals -- just as unclear -- towards which I will aim.
I'm doing this because I want to. *And* to show others -- the out-of-sight dream adults -- that I can. Or can at least, try. Goals may be different but I will have new goals.
And, overall, my good cheer is not faked!
Perhaps I just don't really understand what I'm doing :-)
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Now much more than a clever name for a holiday journal:
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Dr Nick Lethbridge / Consulting Dexitroboper
Agamedes Consulting / Problems ? Solved
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"There are two ways of seeming strong; to build yourself up or to throw all others down. But only one of these is truly a way of being strong." Maniye Many Paths, per Adrian Tchaikovsky
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