mood goes down, mood goes up

Not all life is a bed of roses. We all have our good days and our bad. Or our good days and our bad ... moments. Just last night I was hit by a dose of reality. Me? I thought, It's really me that's going to die?! Ten seconds later, back to normal. Yeah, that's right. Terminal cancer. Sooner than expected but still, later :-)

That's how I'm dealing with life. It's not even a conscious effort. It's just me.

The paper today had an opinion piece by a comedian, a comedian who is being treated for serious cancer. Cancer with pain :-( How, he asks, should other people deal with him? Well, expect him to make jokes. He is, after all, a comedian.

Have I used this yet as a signature quote:

... "Saying a subject is too awful or too painful to joke about is like saying a disease is too awful to be treated." … Louis C.K.

I don't really mind how you deal with me and my "situation". I hope that it is in a way that makes *you* comfortable. I'll just be glad that you considered my feelings -- or glad that you did not :-)

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Surely I do have some regrets? Actually... yes.

Again, from today's paper, an article about a woman who has reached her personal milestone of five years' survival after diagnosis of an aggressive breast cancer. The woman is relatively young. Has two young children. A career. I can see why she could set herself a survival target -- with, I guess, things to achieve, things to be glad to have seen -- along the way.

For me, most of my aims -- my mostly modest aims -- have already been achieved. Or discarded. Children are adult, successful, heading -- as far as I can tell -- for continued happiness and further success. For myself, I had considered that within ten years I could start, build & create an entirely fresh career. Okay, that one is dropped :-) Deb & I have seen plenty of places. Still on the list -- but not essential -- are Melbourne, Tanami Track, the northern island of Japan.

There are now some items on my, To be Planned list. Nothing on my Essential To-Do list. And yet...

Just yesterday, I was hit by a real regret.

Driving home from Kings Park. Past the Shenton Park rehabilitation centre with its Book Bazaar sign. I made the usual joke about, That's bizarre :-) And suddenly felt a strong sense of regret:

There are so many *books* that I will never read! Drat :-(

Books that I want to read. Books that I want to re-read. Books that I feel that I should read, just to see why other people like -- or dislike -- them. Books which are part of a series, where I would like to complete the series. Books which will complete an enjoyable series but which have, as yet, not even been written...

So yes, I do have one -- still lingering -- regret. There's nothing I can do about it. It still lingers. My one... as far as I know... Regret.

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On the other hand, there may still be time to convert to Buddhism! A peaceful lifestyle, a positive attitude. I may ignore the vegetarian option. But reincarnation could be interesting, if it's to the correct creature:

"The study focused on a primitive jellyfish that spends its life sitting upside down on the ocean floor, occasionally pulsing."

Perhaps I have been good enough in this life, to return as that jellyfish. Spend a few generations closer to enlightenment. Quietly and occasionally, pulsing. Before returning -- refreshed -- to a far less enlightened -- though definitely more interesting -- life as a human being.

Reincarnation as a higher being. Sounds good to me.

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Dr Nick Lethbridge / Consulting Dexitroboper
Agamedes Consulting / Problems ? Solved
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​"Wer den Daumen auf dem Beutel hat, der hat die Macht." … Otto von Bismarck eh what?!

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Now much more than a clever name for a holiday journal:

 https://notdotdeaddotyet.blogspot.com.au/  :-)