It's far too early on a Saturday morning. I can't sleep. Tossing and turning in bed. As usual -- for me -- it's the churning thoughts which are keeping me awake. So what are those thoughts, this time:
==> I am almost certain that I now have a cold. I feel bad now, I expect to feel worse over the next few days. The famously incurable cold. What an absolute bugger :-(
This blasted cold -- worrying about the cold -- is keeping me awake. May as well get up and "do something". Which to me means, "think about something, and blog my thoughts". As usual, this is all for my own benefit. I'll think, write, be satisfied that I no longer need to remember, so stop thinking... and perhaps I'll then be able to relax. To sleep.
I doubt it, though. Blasted cold. Making me feel lousy :-( Bah. Humbug.
Bah. Humbug. Perspective...
===
I'm thinking of Yoda: Do or do not, there is no try.
Do or do not, does it matter? Today, that choice is, Do something to pass the time, or do nothing at all... or do something else. Tomorrow... I will be completely unaware of the result. Tomorrow -- some tomorrow at an unknown distance -- as far as I will be aware, there will be no difference. Today, I have the choice.
That's my current perspective.
But... No... This Yoda analysis is going nowhere. Nowhere that seems to me to be worth going, anyway. Other than clearing my mind, of course. So it is still worthwhile -- for me -- to carry on. I browse a few more quotes.
Who you are tomorrow begins with what you do today. This from an author who begins a blog with, "My daughter called me earlier this month, but I let it go to voice mail. I was busy. I didn't have time to chit chat." What an idiot! He is too busy to chit chat with his daughter. What rubbish is he wasting his life on?
That's my perspective. Chit chat with family -- having the time, taking the time -- has always been important. A very important pleasure... I guess that I have always been a "take pleasure in the present" hedonist :-)
Today I am developing a rotten cold. But surely that's not nearly as bad as... Well perhaps not... in the long term. But here I am in the short term. Today's perspective is, Bugger, I think I have a cold :-(
If I go back to earlier thoughts... yesterday's thoughts on life expectancy... it will distract me from the rotten feeling, that I have a cold. And that it may get worse.
From my current perspective of: The worst thing about today is that I have a cold... I believe that I will feel better -- today -- if I define and document the perspective that I should take for tomorrow.
Are you enjoying my attempts to build a clever flow of logic around not being able to sleep? I am! Have I done it well or is it just a weak attempt at a "try"? I don't care!
Do or do not, so what? Right now, to try is a form of to do. Right/wrong. Successful/or not. Seriously/just trying it on... Doesn't matter... to me. I am enjoying the effort :-)
And so, with that final statement of my current perspective... An oh-so-clever segue into an attempt to define and set a preferred perspective... for tomorrow.
====
A day or so back I suddenly realised: I do not have an absolute deadline. What I have is a probably shortened timeline.
Don't Panic !
I'm not in a situation of, Do it now or it will be too late! It's more a case of, There's plenty of time to do it... and if there isn't, it won't matter to me. Not "then", anyway.
So, do what matters to me "now". Which may depend on *hope* for the future... for the future of other people, anyway. It may... :-)
But I think that it may help me -- now -- to be a little bit more specific about the expected length of that relevant future. Meaning: let's define a set length of time which I will consider to be, This is *my* future. Too many statistics. I'm about to set a date.
Right or wrong, doesn't matter. When I'm proven wrong -- I won't know. (And I won't -- then -- mind at all if you laugh at my absolute failure to predict...) What I am doing is -- for the benefit of me, now -- picking a clear figure. So that I can make clear plans (if I want to). And so that I don't have to go to the bother of explaining, to other people that life expectancy -- theirs and mine -- is just a statistical range.
My Perspective:
From now... from the "now" of whatever day it now is... until I decide to change my perspective... or until I actually die: I am going to live for exactly another
==> Three Years, One Calendar Month and an Uncertain Number of Days.
So -- as at today -- I know that I will live till... I will make plans towards... I will talk with you *knowing* that I will live till... just a few days after... 18th October 2020.
Crikey, that's a lot of life to look forward to :-) A lot of time to continue to annoy family and friends... a lot of time to do, or not do, or just try, so what.
So, note to self: Don't panic! I still -- always -- have another three years. Until I don't. :-)
====
Now much more than a clever name for a holiday journal:
=======
Dr Nick Lethbridge / Consulting Dexitroboper
Agamedes Consulting / Problems ? Solved
=======
Dr Nick Lethbridge / Consulting Dexitroboper
Agamedes Consulting / Problems ? Solved
=======
"Humanity had been thrown to the brink of extinction by insane men in positions of power following one another, each thinking the others knew where they were going." … Donald Keene, in Shift
No comments:
Post a Comment