Monday 4th, late morning

I read the gloomy pages of Wikipedia and glioblastoma(?) explanations. Thought I'd better check the alternative link from the aggressive brain cancer page... But the alternative dooes not look likely. Without rereading to check facts:

Cancer of the meninges is usually benign but can be aggressive. Best diagnosis is from scans rather than surgery. So Lam is looking at proof of the deadly glioblastoma. So it seems.

Nurses expect that a doctor -- Lam or his wife, a more general doctor -- will be by this afternoon. The nurses also expect that I will be sent home today. But back -- to Lam -- for an actual diagnosis at the appointed time on Thursday. He wants a week for tumour analysis. Today, though, I will ask him what he is looking for. And what he really expects to find.

I'm also interested -- assuming that I'll be dying within 12 to 15 months -- in what changes I can expect. What degeneration to quality of life. I expect the family to tell me if I'm becoming a pain. I hope I can maintain a rational (my level of rational :-) response to whatever happens.

So till Thursday it's blind optimism and denial. Then I expect it to be bad jokes and enjoying what's left to enjoy. Which will be plenty enough :-)

Meanwhile, I'm spreading the news. Why should I be miserable alone?! I know that I prefer to share the burden of bad news from other people. And I definitely want to get in lots of last words... Sharing by email & blog is letting me get everything in order in my mind. It helps me. If it doesn't help you, reader -- I don't mind if you stop reading.

This morning I went radical and had my first post-op shower. Avoiding, as much as possible, getting water on my scalp wound.

Walked a few laps round the corridors. Still wearing the hospital gown, I'll get dressed properly if/when I'm about to escape, Deb will be bringing clothes. The pressure socks -- anti-DVT socks -- were uncomfortable. I thought, What the heck and took them off. Let's put clot possibility in perspective :-)

I had to chase the tea trolley to get my fair share of morning biscuits. SJoG Pastoral Care dropped by. (James?) I said, Thanks but no thanks. (A phrase which reminds me -- for reasons too long to explain: The boys are probably already fighting over who will inherit my World of Warcraft characters... At least, they should be.) The shopping trolley dropped by. I plan to catch up with newspapers when I'm relaxed at home. Reading the comics will be essential, the news is of even less interest than usual.

The day started with a pill that needed food in my stomach, so I scored crackers and cheese. I ate every scrap of my breakfast. It seems hearty but I suspect that it has less fatty bulk than I usually eat. Then I ate a bit of chocolate that Deb left, yesterday. I'm not starving :-)  

Deb is Will-sitting, I expect she will be here this afternoon. To take me home, if we're lucky! Otherwise, life is a bit slow while I wait for more information. My next plan for excitement -- as a break from reading & blogging -- is to write some toilet notes for orienteering. After a year of towing the toilet to events, we have learnt some essential tricks. Time to improve the process !

The rest of my plan is to eat lunch. When it arrives. Such fun :-)  Oooohh... now I get to watch my bathroom being cleaned. Oooohhhh... wow... excitement :-)

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Dr Nick Lethbridge / Consulting Dexitroboper
Agamedes Consulting / Problems? Solved.
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Now so much more than a simple holiday blog:  https://notdotdeaddotyet.blogspot.com.au :-)
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"We must learn from our past mistakes so that we can improve our new mistakes" … per Ginger Meggs