I believe that I may have mentioned VSE. Without much explanation. So:
From Donaldson's Thomas Covenant books I learnt about a leper's VSE, Visual Surveillance of Extremities. No! wait! irrelevant! Must learn to be brief, stick to current blog theme:
I will adopt my own version of VSE: Visual Surveillance of *Environment*.
As I walk... jog... run... I will constantly take conscious note of my surroundings. I always do stare round :-) In future, I will take mental note of specific expectations. Then take conscious note of when -- if -- that environmental expectation is met.
... There is a person with dog, walking towards me. I expect that we will walk past each other. Have we walked past each other? Yes? Good. Next...
... There is a person with dog, walking towards me. I expect that we will walk past each other. Have we walked past each other? No? Look round... No sign of person with dog... odd. Take action!
I will constantly survey my environment. Build expectations of future events. Take note when expectations become reality... In the hope that an *un*met expectation will make me consciously aware ... that I may be in trouble.
So I will practise VSE. And hope that I never actually have one of (another of) those unmet expectations.
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My first actual symptom of brain cancer was that I lost awareness of my environment. (Lost awareness? Or was aware but am unable to recall? A bit of both, according to my best self-analysis.) I will tackle the potential problems due to future *lack of awareness* with my own version of VSE.
On race day, I remember hearing the start being called (or sirenned). I remember starting to move with the crowd. I remember looking for the actual start line... and being cross when it "was not there". I even remember being on a road which I knew -- at the time -- was past where the start line should have been.
I was aware that there should be a start line to cross. It's hard to miss: an inflated archway above, lots of chip-detector pads on the ground. A beep for each runner -- each race chip -- as they cross that start line. Very hard to miss!
I was aware of being on a part of the road that was *past* where the start line should be. Because I clearly remember thinking, Well, they must have decided to not put up the start line. Idiots.
Deb tells me that the start line structure was very definitely there. So I must have crossed it. I was simply *unaware* that I was passing -- through -- the start line arch.
I lost awareness of my environment. I vaguely knew that it was odd, to not (as I thought) have put up a start line.
I recognised some unexpected aspects of my environment. I realised, in a half-hearted fashion, that this was unusual. My reaction was, to think bad thoughts about the run organisers.
Could I have thought more rationally: This situation is unusual. Race organisers are experienced, they have done this before, they are highly unlikely to make a significant change without explaining. I had neither heard of nor read any notice of "no start line". Is there an alternate explanation?
It's even easier now. I *know* that I have, in the past, lost awareness of my environment. I *remember* what it felt like. In the future, if it happens again: Can I consciously notice the problem. And consciously take preventative action. (*What* action? No idea. Perhaps just,sit down and drink some water.)
The key question is, Can I learn to identify loss of awareness, then consciously make a decision to do *something*? And will I then act on that decision?!
I will practise my VSE, Visual Surveillance of my Environment. See if it works, see if VSE can give me enough warning to take preventative action.
I will practise VSE. And hope that I never have a chance to see if it helps me to react :-)
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Dr Nick Lethbridge / Consulting Dexitroboper
Agamedes Consulting / Problems ? Solved
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Agamedes Consulting / Problems ? Solved
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"No matter where you go, there you are." ... Confucius ?
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Now much more than a clever name for a holiday journal:
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